


Was Any Of It Real?

by Julia3132



Series: Seblaine Week 2018 [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Day 7, Fake Dating, M/M, Seblaine Week 2018, season 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-06-23 23:12:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15617109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia3132/pseuds/Julia3132
Summary: Every time Sebastian thinks he’s got Blaine figured out he realizes he wasn’t even close. He begins to wonder if anything he knew about him was real.





	1. Honesty

**Author's Note:**

> Canon AU: beginning after 4x11 Sadie Hawkins. No Blaine cheating (doesn’t mean he didn’t think about it) and Regionals happen earlier than in canon.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's friends are confused. He's been whiny and depressed since Kurt went to New York, but suddenly everything changed. The only differences they know of are Kurt is supposedly seeing someone new and Sebastian Smythe is back in Blaine's life.

The day Finn turned over the information Sam and Blaine found on the Warblers using steroids Blaine drove to Dalton, walked into the Warblers Commons and sat on one of the sofas without saying a word. Warblers yelled, Warblers cried, Warblers yelled some more but Blaine never flinched. Two hours later he stood up and left. He repeated this every day for a week before someone finally asked why.

“He’s showing you idiots he’s here for you when you’re ready to talk” Sebastian answered from the back of the room. No one noticed but he had sat back there every day since the first when he realized what Blaine was doing. “Not yell, scream and throw accusations…talk. It’s not Blaine’s fault we cheated and can’t go to Regionals. Although, I don’t understand how the New Directions replaced us when they were disqualified, but that’s beside the point.”

“Can’t help you, I don’t understand either.” Blaine smiled as Sebastian came and sat next to him. They waited for the other Warblers to say something, anything, but they didn’t. To be fair, it was impossible to tell whether they were still upset, overwhelmed by Blaine’s gesture of friendship or stunned by the fact Blaine Anderson and Sebastian Smythe were sitting on one of the sofas smiling at each other.

“Coffee?”

“Killer, I thought you’d never ask.”

To prevent the prying eyes which occurred the last time the two of them had coffee at Dalton, they headed off-campus to a diner Blaine had missed since his transfer. They not only had coffee but dinner as well since they wound up talking for 5 hours. Nothing was off the table…No Thanks, Hunter and steroids, Slushie-gate, even Dave Karofsky. The discussions were brutally honest and yet somehow, they managed to stay away from Blaine’s strained relationship with Kurt until “What’s going on with you and the blond since you realized you were too good for Hummel?” Sebastian could have slapped himself once the words were out of his mouth. Not only had he brought up Kurt but his tone had given away his jealousy of Sam. He never saw what drew Blaine to Kurt but Sam was an entirely different story.

Despite Sebastian's minor internal panic attack, Blaine was unfazed. “Kurt and I didn’t break-up, I think. I don’t know, it’s complicated. I went to New York to talk about how alone I felt but we wound up having a huge fight. He called at Thanksgiving and said he would come home for Christmas then at the last minute cancelled. He got into NYADA and wanted to stay in New York to save money. Burt flew me out to surprise him but it was awkward. So, like I said, complicated. And Sam? I can’t believe I’m telling you this but I _might_ have a _small_ crush on him. I mean, you’ve seen him. Oh, one day you have got to see his abs. I mean DAMN!" Blaine couldn't help but laugh at Sebastian stunned expression. "Ok, maybe that last part was a little too honest (then switching to an overdramatic thespian voice) but alas, Blam's destiny is purely platonic. My crush will forever remain unrequited since Sam is 100% Team Vagina.”

This was not the Blaine Sebastian had known (somewhat) and loved (more than somewhat) “Fuck Killer, I thought the bashful school-boy was hot. This Blaine is so much hotter.”

Their conversation went so well Blaine went back to Dalton on Friday for a _movie/let’s all be friends again_ night, and brought Sam with him. He wanted to offer to teach Broga to those Warblers having problems with steroid withdrawal. He also wanted to see for himself what was going on between Blaine and Sebastian. Something was different with his best friend but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

It took some time to explain but the Warblers finally understood the New Directions never wanted to hurt them, just stop the steroids/cheating. With the heavy stuff out of the way, the rest of the night was all about reconnecting. Sebastian even got to see Sam’s abs when some of the guys took him up on his Broga lesson offer. However, the best part of Sebastian’s evening was when the guys who were there somehow convinced Blaine to sing _When I Get You Alone_ to mark the two year anniversary of the infamous Gap Attack. While Sam’s abs may have been lickable, Blaine singing about keeping the toys in the drawer…DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Turned out a night of hijinks righted a lot of perceived wrongs. Blaine stopped coming every day but he and Sebastian fell into a routine of Skyping every night at 8PM. When the rest of the Warblers teased him about his quote/unquote nightly date, Sebastian would deny and deflect. Maybe they were quasi dating he would tell himself. It couldn’t be dating-dating because they didn’t go out together except for their now weekly dinner at the diner. Right? Of course, technically he had never been on a date-date so he found it all confusing.

What he couldn’t deny, or deflect, was his feelings for Mr. Sex on a Stick had come back…times 10.

After a week of Skypes, his heightened awareness of all things Blaine Anderson led Sebastian to conclude Blaine was hiding something from him. It bothered him so much he called Sam. Sam insisted Blaine was fine, they were just busy working on a way to raise money for the bus to Regionals. So, he let it go…kind of. When the feeling was still there few days later, he called Sam again. This time Blaine’s BFF’s response was to send a video of Blaine singing _Don’t Stop Me Now_ while wearing tight leather pants. Sebastian didn’t know what it was supposed to prove but by the third time he watched it he didn’t care.

That was until Blaine texted to cancel their Skype time. Evidently, he had a cold and his friend Tina had come over with chicken soup and night-time cold medicine which would knock him out. Sebastian practically ran to change, determined to get to Blaine and take care of him himself. When he got to his room, he started undressing only to stop when he realized he had no idea where Blaine lived. He picked up his blazer to retrieve his phone and call Sam when he saw it…a perfectly wrapped gift with a big red bow and a note attached.

 _Bas,_  
_Sam said you called a couple of times to ask if there was something I wasn’t telling you. There is/was and I prayed you would never find out, but in the spirit of our commitment to honesty, this is for you. It will explain everything._  
_Blaine_  
_PS…January & December_  
_PPS I case you didn’t notice, I’ve decided to start calling you Bas. You don’t look like a Seb._  
  
The last line made Sebastian smile but it was nothing compared to his smile when he opened the box and held the Men of McKinley calendar in his hands. He flipped to January…yeah, Blaine was most likely asleep from the cold medicine and if not, his good friend Tina was taking care of him. Something had suddenly come...um, _up_.

The following morning Sam called and asked if it was ok for him to stop by Dalton later that afternoon. Since he didn’t mention Blaine, Sebastian thought the request was strange but agreed to it anyway. That was his first mistake and how he found himself in the Warblers Commons sitting on a sofa across from the Blaine-less New Directions. Yes, all of them…Sam, that Tina chick, a guy he thinks is named Artie, Sam’s girlfriend/Satan’s ex, Puckerman Jr., Hudson 2.0, Berry 2.0, Sam’s ex (with a twist) 2.0, Mini Blonde Satan, the dude with the dreads and the girl with the mob dad who can’t sing. His second mistake had been to not ask Sam what he wanted to talk about.

“Have you lost you fucking mind?

“You have your weekly dinner date with Blaine later, right?” Sam asked, confusing Sebastian even more. He knew the answer was yes. “Just ask him then.”

“I am not going to ask Blaine to be my date to Schuester’s wedding…or ask him if I could be his date to Schuester’s wedding. Either way, not happening.”

“Fake date” that Tina girl, who he would now refer to as Blaine’s Hag, hissed out.

“Still not happening.”

“Stretch, we get it” the Mini Blonde Satan butted in. He thinks he likes her…maybe enough to learn her name. “But we need you to find your balls, man up and do this for Captain Hair Gel.”

Ok, not liking her so much anymore “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Sam, you better start talking.”

“No, I should” Brittany (where the hell did that come from) informed him. “I got a call from Santana wanting to know how Blaine was doing since Kurt was seeing some guy in New York. She has a secret soft spot for your boo. Well, I guess now not so secret.”

“Oh” Sebastian thought he was hiding his internal flailing, but the smiles on those he decided to call The Clones told him otherwise. Wait a minute… “Let’s get this straight, Blaine is not my boo. We are not dating-dating but we do talk and he hasn’t mentioned anything about Kurt seeing someone else.”

“He didn’t know.”

Any control he had over what could be considered his _Old Sebastian_ tendencies was now gone. “Son of a bitch!” he yelled as he got up and began to pace. “So, what? You want me to tell him so he can hate me?” He knew Blaine’s _friends_ being nice to him was too good to be true. “Hold up, did you say _didn’t know_? As in he does now? Is he ok?”

“That’s the thing…” Seriously, why was the Rachel Wanna-Be speaking? “Brittany and Sam told him and he shrugged…as in lifted his shoulders…and then said that he wasn’t surprised…and then he made a suggestion about our duet for Regionals…and then…”

“Marley, he’s got it” Puckerman Jr thankfully put an end to the ramble. “It’s just Blaine’s been depressed and whiny over Kurt for as long as we’ve known him and now Kurt moves on and no reaction what-so-ever?”

Hudson 2.0 seemed to agree “Yeah, we’ve always liked Blaine but we like this dude a lot better. We want to keep him around.”

Sebastian would be lying if he said he didn’t agree. Since apparently he wasn’t being called on to be the sacrificial lamb who dropped the Hummelbomb on Blaine, he calmed enough to sit back down. “What does this have to do with me?”

“Yo, Sebastian, listen man, I’ve got to admit I had reservations when you and Blaine became friends after the steroids.” Since it was (definitely) Artie talking, Sebastian wanted to listen. This guy was the only one who had been there for everything…including _I Want_ _You Back_ which lead to Slushie-gate. “But the Blaine we’ve had lately is almost back to the Pre-Klaine Blaine Warbler I first met and we all think that has a lot to do with you. Like Ryder said, we want to keep him around and are afraid him seeing Kurt at the wedding will take away all the progress he’s made. We can put up blocks between the two but we can’t stay by Blaine’s side without it looking suspicious. That’s why we need you. Just…as much as you hate Kurt, don’t do something to fuck up the wedding.”

“I wouldn’t do that. Let me talk to Blaine.”

At dinner, Sebastian noticed Blaine was talking a lot about things like his new Prius, how guys can be divas, how Vapo-rub was probably the greatest invention in the history of mankind…but nothing about Kurt. It was only when he mentioned he was supposed to sing at the reception on Saturday did Sebastian see an opening.

“What song?”

“I don’t know. That’s the problem.”

“Why? Because you won’t be singing with Hummel anymore?” Shit!

Blaine sat back in the booth and crossed his arms across himself “Let me guess, Sam told you about Santana’s call to Brittany.”

“Sam…Brittany, Artie, Your Hag, the girl I found out was named Kitty because I cared enough to learn her name, Teen Jesus, Tone-deaf Barbie and The Clones.”

That broke Blaine’s defenses “What?”

“Killer, they all came to Dalton this afternoon and asked if I would ask you to take me as your date, technically fake date, to Schuester’s wedding. Before you get all pissed-off, it wasn’t that they didn’t think you could handle seeing Hummel. They just thought you might want some back-up. Plus, you’ve got to admit the look on people’s faces if we walk in together would be priceless.”

“I don’t know.”

“Would it help if I said I promised Artie I wouldn’t do anything to fuck up the wedding? However, I refuse to be held responsible for any possible Hummel hysterics.”

Blaine didn’t answer his question at first. He just stared at him so intently it almost became uncomfortable. Finally… “Ok, but if we do this, we do it right.”

“What does that mean?”

“We go as a couple, complete with pet names and all the PDAs. Kissing, hand holding…no, your hand would be on my ass…”

Sebastian thought his brain would implode, and he couldn’t believe he was going to do this but “Uh, Killer? You heard me say fake date, right?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry” Blaine groaned and then dropped his head. In an instant he had turned back into the whiny & depressed Blaine the New Directions had described earlier. “I’m so tired of his shit, Bas. It's like he thinks I'm on the other end of a tether, waiting to come back to him if/when he decides to give it a pull.”

“Shnookums”

Blaine’s head snapped back up “Excuse me?”

“You said pet names so I suggested Shnookums. Or I could go with Pookey-bear, Snuggle-bunny, Baby…”

“Babe” Both of them smiled at Blaine’s suggestion. It felt right, maybe too right. “But I’m just going to call you Bas.”

“I can live with that. So, since it’s Valentine’s Day do I need to give you some big romantic gesture?”

“Yes”

“Wait…what? I was kidding.”

“I’m not. I don’t know what song to sing so you’re going to perform for me.” Blaine got out his phone and started to text “In honor of the anniversary of the Gap Attack, which you argued should be an official Warbler Holiday, make it cringeworthy.”

“You want me to get onstage and sing _Candles_ with Hummel?”

“No, you promised Artie you wouldn’t fuck-up the wedding.”

Sebastian choked on his water from trying not to spit it out in laughter. He now understood why Sam, Artie and the others asked him to do this. The Blaine who made that crack was more than ready to be around his ex but he was the same guy who was whiny & depressed Blaine only a few moments earlier. For the first time since the New Directions had shown up at Dalton, Sebastian was all-in on this fake date plan. He owed Blaine this...and so much more. 

“Bas” Blaine got his attention by waving his phone. “I got you some help with your big romantic song for me.”

“Sam?”

“Santana”

“What?!”

“She was upset when Britt told her I didn’t know about Kurt. I thought knowing you were going to be my fake date for the wedding would make her feel better.”

How could Blaine look so innocent and so devious at the same time? “Why do I think I should be afraid?”

“Because you should. You really, really should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of my Seblaine Week 2018 purposefully written WIPs. I also took the challenge of writing this as Sebastian driven (for the most part). I have never written an entire fic (only chapters) with him heading the direction. This is definitely not the fic I started writing. Wish me luck.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading.


	2. Can You Handle The Truth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine shares his feelings with Sebastian and Sebastian shares his as well…but not only with Blaine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon dialogue was used in this chapter. I am not and have never been associated with the television show Glee.
> 
> Unlike canon, all Season 4 New New Directions will be at the wedding and reception.
> 
> There is a major canon timeline change with the mention of Regionals coming the weekend after the wedding.

**The Wedding**

Santana stopped to adjust her dress before entering the sanctuary, happy to see she wasn’t as late as she thought she was. She had to laugh though at all the disappointed faces on the New New Directions (well, except Brittany. Damn, she looked good) when they realized it was only her.

This was going to be so much fun!

She saw Quinn sitting alone, looking like she wanted to be anywhere but where she was. “This seat taken?”

“It is a Carrot Top convention. I am so over this, and it hasn't even started yet” Quinn offered without any prompt but scooted over to give Santana room.

“Hey, I'm clearly the hottest bitch in this lousy joint, but I'm all alone, stuck here sitting with you. I hate weddings.” Well, not this wedding, she told herself.

“Do you know what I hate? Men. Every single one of them is a pig, except maybe Mr. Schue and Al Roker. And you know what? You were right. I do let men define me, but not anymore. Like Gloria Steinem said _A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle_.” Quinn ended her rant when Santana obviously muffled her laughter after reading a text. “What’s going on?”

“What if I told you not all men are pigs? In fact, I’m looking forward to the arrival of two in particular. And Al Roker is disgusting, by the way.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about but I must say your Auntie Snixx smirk is quite intriguing.”

“Just keep your eyes Hummel.”

Quinn found Kurt up front talking with Rachel and Mercedes. Nothing strange there. What she did find strange was how all the New New Directions seemed antsy, constantly turning to look to the back of the church. At first, she thought it was just Brittany turning to wave at Santana, but no, it was all of them. Her curiosity was waning when she saw Kurt turn completely white. She followed his train of sight to see Blaine hand-in-hand with…

Sebastian Fucking Smythe

“For real?” Quinn asked an incredibly smug Santana.

“Oh, yeah. It’s totally real.” Santana thought it pointless to tell her Seblaine was fake when she was certain by the end of the night they wouldn’t be.

Quinn turned back around with a huge smile on her face. “You know, I love weddings.”

Meanwhile, Blaine and Sebastian kept holding hands as they walked up the aisle and sat in a pew next to Sam and Brittany. “You two look great” Brittany giggled, but only loud enough for the four of them to hear.

Sebastian let go of Blaine’s hand but put his arm across the back of the pew “Was there ever a doubt?” He was ready to comment on the number of red-heads in the sanctuary, when Blaine began to fidget. “You ok…Babe?”

“Just waiting for the inevitable.” Blaine subtly nodded to point out Kurt was on his way over, but the pending confrontation was postponed when Mr. Schue and Finn took their places.

The look of frustration on Kurt’s face reminded Sam he was supposed to be taking pictures for the Warblers, so he got out his phone. “Dudes, you need to be more lovey-dovey.”

Sebastian shook his head but leaned in and kissed Blaine’s temple, earning him hushed squeals from Kitty, Hagatha and the rest of the Spice Girls sitting behind them. Blaine returned the kiss with one to Sebastian’s cheek. It gave him the chance to whisper “I’m sorry, but I’m sure they’re going to be like this all day. And I’m doubly sorry because Santana will be worse.”

“It’s fine, Babe.” Sebastian didn’t have a clue of how he would stop using the term of endearment when this was over. It was already becoming a habit.

When the procession of bridesmaids ended and the wedding march began, the congregation stood and turned to watch the bride’s entrance. They fell into a stunned silence except for one last minute guest who couldn’t control his laughter. “Ok, this might not be the appropriate time but I would like to note for the record I kept my promise to Artie. I had nothing to do with fucking up this wedding.”

**The Reception**

Blaine put his Prius in park and shut it off but didn’t move. “I’m giving you an out. You don’t have to go in there.”

Sebastian’s heart dropped…to his feet. This fake-date had been damn near perfect. He wasn’t going to let it end any earlier than it had to. “Why?”

“Because this has never been a fake-date for me and I don’t think it has for you either. But Bas, if we were to take the word fake out of this, I’d be all in. It wouldn’t be dating to me. It would be everything. And despite you saying in the past you don’t do boyfriends, I really think you could and would be amazing.”

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Ok, composure, Smythe. There’s obviously a but, and by but he meant asshole. “But Hummel…”

“This has nothing to do with Kurt…sort of. With everything that’s happened between us, there’s no way I’d go back to him. This is about me being 98% ready to try and not be afraid of losing who I am in another relationship.”

“Will you go out with me…” Blaine looked at him as if he had lost his mind “Let me finish. Go out with me on a doesn’t-have-to-be-real-but-not-fake date 2 weeks from today. You have Regionals next weekend and when you win you’ll want to celebrate with the Nude Erections.”

“Santana?”

Sebastian gripped onto the side of his seat. He was beginning to panic since Blaine didn’t give him an answer. “Of course” he replied, disguising (hopefully) his anxiety. “Anyway, we can keep doing what we’ve been doing with the texts and Skypes and Wednesday diner dinners until then but only if you want to.” Please say yes.

“I’d understand if you said no but will you come to Regionals?”

It technically wasn’t an answer but Sebastian took the invitation to Regionals as a good sign. “Already am, Babe.”

Blaine’s smile was enough of an answer but it was still nice to hear “Then yes, I would love to go on a doesn’t-have-to-be-real-but-not-fake date with you in 2 weeks.”

Sebastian’s heart was finally back in his chest but was beating probably five times the normal rate. Blaine was right. This had never been fake for him either. However, the part about being an amazing boyfriend? He wasn’t as sure as Blaine, but he was more than willing to try…and it didn’t scare the shit out of him. Mostly.

In the meantime, he needed to get his head back into the situation at hand. “Great, but I actually have two stipulations. The first, explain why the hell you and I, your friends and the people that don’t matter are even here?”

“A promised separate, unofficial and totally illegal open bar if we came and sang anyway. I think Miss Pillsbury’s family is much happier they’re celebrating the non-wedding and not the other way around. But, if you’re ready to go through with this fake-date, we should get going. There’s a meeting to hammer out a new quote/unquote set-list since all the sappy love songs we were asked to sing originally are out.”

As they headed into the hotel Blaine remembered something. “You said you had two stipulations. What’s the second?”

“I get to keep calling you Babe.” Sebastian was a little leery of Blaine’s reaction but again his smile showed there was nothing to worry about.

“Deal.”

When Blaine and Sebastian finally found everyone, the first thing they noticed was they were the last to arrive. Seeing the expression on Kurt’s face had Sebastian grip Blaine’s hand tighter. “One word and we can be at Scandals in 15 minutes.”

“Tempting, but no. I have to do this. But first…” Blaine rolled up on his toes and gave Sebastian’s lips a peck. “Thank you.”

“No problem, Babe.”

“Hey Lovebirds! Get your cute asses over here!”

Sebastian’s smile widened realizing the call over was from Kitty and not Santana. Yeah, he definitively liked the girl. “Fine, I suppose you need the real talent to decide what songs will complement Babe’s choice. But whatever you chose, my big romantic gesture for him is set.”

He knew there was a plan. Sam, Artie and the others weren’t going to allow anyone unaware of the Seblaine plan a chance to talk, which (according to him) meant he could be as truthful (obnoxious) as he wanted. However, this wasn’t only for him and Blaine. The New New Directions were tired of the graduates constantly taking charge without asking and this time Mr. Schue wasn’t there to let it happen.

“Yeah, Dude, and we’ve got you’re back.” Brittany was discreetly pinching Sam to help him get through what he wanted to say without laughing. “Santana told, notice I didn’t say asked, us guys to back you up. Interesting song choice.”

“Satan chose it.”

“Oh, Blaine, you’re so lucky. But what should the rest of us sing?” Damn, which one was she? Sweetie Spice? No that was the girl actually named Sugar. Whoever she was, it made sense Rachel 2.0 was on Interrupt Rachel duty.

“Inappropriate for a wedding songs? God knows we’ve sung enough of them in Glee Club” Artie suggested.

Sebastian really liked Artie, and not just because he had given him the perfect opening. “Excuse me but the Warblers have sung both _Glad You Came_ and _Whistle_ in competition.”

Before those assigned could block Rachel, Quinn did. “Some of us, as part of an Abstinence Club, sang _Afternoon Delight_ with pictures of cherry pies floating around on a screen behind us. We all sang _Blame It On The Alcohol_ while drunk…at school. Finn and Rachel sang _With You I’m Born Again_ dressed as a priest and nun. We sang…”

“Holy Shit! Stop! You Win! You Win!” Sebastian couldn’t remember the last time, if ever, he had laughed that hard. He was beginning to (only very, very, _very_ slightly) see why Blaine stayed with these people instead of returning to Dalton.

“I know what we should sing!” Brittany screeched, bringing all attention to her. “Everyone hooks up at weddings!” She grabbed Blaine’s hand and began dragging him toward the stage. “Unique! Tina! Come on!”

“Does anyone know what’s going on?” Mike asked.

You could see the lightbulb go off in Artie’s head “I do and it’s brilliant considering her statements about hook-ups. We don’t want to miss this, especially you Seb and Sam.”

None of them realized they had let their guards down. Although to be honest, Sebastian was surprised they had managed to keep Kurt quiet this long. “I can’t believe Blaine had the nerve to bring you.”

Oh, he wanted to go there. “Well Hummel, I can’t believe you didn’t bring the guy you started fucking in New York after you abandoned, but didn’t have the balls to break-up with, the guy you left back in Ohio.”

“Burnnnnnnnnnnn” Ryder said under his breath but loud enough to make those around him chuckle.

Kurt wasn’t one of them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But I do, Hummel.” All movement toward the stage halted when the previously (and scarily) silent Santana moved to stand next to Sebastian.

At the same time Sebastian could see Blaine and the girls setting up onstage. In a choice between confronting Kurt and watching Blaine perform, there wasn’t one. “Come on, Satan. Let’s go watch my boy blow these people out of the water.”

“He’s not your boy” Kurt snapped. He stepped forward to follow them only to find small, but firm, hand pushing him back.

“Oh, but he is _Porcelain_ ” Kitty drawled with special emphasis on her use of Sue’s moniker for him. “And those of us who were once tortured by Blaine’s sad-sack whining are not letting you anywhere near his happy bubble.” It was in that moment Sebastian decided he no longer liked, but loved Kitty. She could be the little (like seriously little) sister he never wanted.

Sam managed to pull her away…ok, carry her away as she literally growled at Kurt. “You’ve made your point, Wild Cat. He understands he needs to stay away from Blaine and Sebastian.”

“He better.”

Those not named Kurt and Rachel, who were arguing about something, were front and center when Unique opened with the lyrics to _Call Me Maybe_. There had been an unspoken fear amongst all of them that even though Miss Pillsbury’s parents asked them to perform, the family wouldn’t be receptive considering they were Mr. Schue’s students.

They couldn’t have been more wrong. The red-heads were a bunch of party animals, up dancing and singing along for every song. Following _Call Me Maybe_ , the girls and boys of the New New Directions each repeated their performances of _Locked Out Of Heaven_ and _No Scrubs_ from the Sadie Hawkins dance. When they finished, Rachel made her way to the stage but the band demanded a break…and a formal, written set list. Evidently, not all bands can pull songs out of their asses at a moment’s notice like the one at McKinley.

Due to the break, everyone wanted to check out the room with their “open bar”. Because of the Kurt/Sebastian/Santana/Kitty kerfuffle, it was agreed this should be done in shifts, split between graduates and non. It was a given Santana would join Blaine and Sebastian’s group but somehow, they also wound up with Quinn, Mike and a niece of Miss Pillsbury’s that Artie had been dancing with. Not that any of them minded.

“Babe, that was crazy!” Sebastian amused as he slammed back a shot.

Blaine held up his cup as if to give a toast. “Welcome to the New New Directions, Bas. It’s where crazy just seems to happen.”

There were a couple of other silly toasts before everyone got down to the serious business of drinking and choosing the next group of songs to perform. In the middle of a battle of whether Sam should sing _Red Solo Cup_ or not, Blaine pulled Sebastian and Santana to the side. “I think the two of you should sing _Smooth Criminal_.”

Well, that was unexpected.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read my work it may seem as if I've posted quite a bit lately and it's true. I have been stuck at home for the better part of two weeks due to smoke from forest fires in my area and horrible allergies. However, I am finally free so a heads-up that future updates will not be coming as quickly :(
> 
> As always, thank you for reading


	3. This Is The You I Always Saw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is blown away by what he learns about Blaine...and himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am choosing to ignore the Season 4 drama between those in what I refer to as the New New Directions. This would include storylines such as Kitty giving Marley an eating disorder, Unique catfishing Ryder, Jake and Brie…you get what I mean. Here they are just one big happy family but individual issue will still come into play.

_I think the two of you should sing Smooth Criminal_

_“What the fuck, Blainers?”_

_“Yeah, Babe. What the fuck?”_

Blaine really, Really, REALLY wanted this so he went heavy on the puppy-dog eyes/fluttering eyelashes combo. “It will show everyone you two are friends now and they can stop with the snide comments” he said as sweetly as possible.

“I wouldn’t say we’re exactly friends” Santana murmured, trying desperately to avoid looking directly at Blaine.

But, Blaine knew he had her. “Ok, the two of you are working on getting along. How’s that?” He didn’t wait for her answer before turning to Sebastian and ramping up the charm. “You know you want to do it. You’ve both said it was spectacular…until the Slushie to Santana’s face part.”

All of Sebastian’s resolve melted away (Damn it! Those fucking eyelashes will be my downfall) and he knew he couldn’t say no. However, there was one thing Blaine probably hadn’t considered. “Our rendition was spectacular but I have to admit a lot of it was due to the cellos.”

“I’ve got that covered. Meet me on stage in 10 minutes.”

Blaine managed to give them each a kiss on the cheek and disappear before either Sebastian or Santana could find out what he meant by _I’ve got that covered_. “Why do I feel as if we’ve been set up?” Sebastian asked despite knowing the answer.

“Because we totally have.”

There was a fondness in her voice that was impossible to miss and reminded Sebastian of a question he had been meaning to ask. “Santana, Britt said you had a soft spot for Blaine. I knew when you came to Dalton after the Slushie there was more…I mean…I don’t understand. From what I heard, you and Blaine weren’t particularly close last year.”

She pointed over to an empty table that gave them more privacy. Sebastian could see how hard this was for her but appreciated she was trying. “When I was outed I was a total bitch to everyone, especially Kurt and Blaine. This is going to sound really awful…”

He reached over and put his hand on her’s to show support. “Hey, we all dealt with coming out the best we could.” Blaine was right (of course). He and Santana were becoming friends.

Guess hell could freeze over.

“Anyway, like I said, I was outed. Everyone knew and had an opinion they were all too ready to share. One asshole even not-so-subtly implied he could fuck the gay out of me. I wanted to…not hide, but pull back until everything died down.”

“That doesn’t sound unreasonable.”

“No, but if I was seen with Klaine that couldn’t happen. At that time, they were _too out_. Does that make sense?”

“I once told Hummel one of us had a hard luck case of the gay-face and it wasn’t me. So, yeah, it makes sense. As far as Blaine goes, I bet the homophobes at McKinley don’t think his tight-ass highwaters and bow ties are as super-hot as I do.”

“No, but a lot of the girls sure do.” They both tried not to laugh as Tina walked by at that exact moment. It helped lighten the mood. “Like I said, I was a first-class bitch and pushed them away. I don’t know how they figured out what I was doing, but later both of them tried to talk to me individually instead. With Kurt it was like he wanted me to be _gay_. You know, take on the cause alongside of him by starting clubs and support groups at school. He wouldn’t let it go. I was nowhere ready for anything like that. Hell, I’m still not.”

Sebastian wondered why she didn’t say _alongside him AND Blaine_ but didn't ask. “I take it Blaine was different.”

The small smile Blaine’s name brought out of her gave Sebastian an inexplicable sense of pride. “Your dapper dreamboat just wanted me to be myself…except happy. I couldn’t believe how nice he was considering I had Quinn blow up...” Before Santana had the chance to finish (Wait…blow up? What? Metaphorically or literally?), Brittany and Sugar found them and said it was time.

The two of them thought their singing together would be a surprise but it was nothing compared for the bomb Blaine dropped on everyone.

“Blaine plays the cello?” A slightly inebriated Rachel slurred into Kurt’s ear.

“Yes, but I didn’t know he played that well. It’s…it’s…”

“Hot as fuck!”

“Rachel!” Kurt pulled her away from the rest of their friends. “You didn’t need to yell, I can hear you just fine. God, how come every time you get drunk around my boyfriend you want to make out with him?”

“Ok, number one, the last time, Blaine was not your boyfriend. Number two, this time, BLAINE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND! You fucked that up and I have no sympathy for you.”

“I thought you liked Adam?”

“I do, but you told me you and Blaine were over when you started seeing him.”

“We were.” Rachel crossed her arms and gave him the look she always did when she knew he was lying. “Ok, maybe we hadn’t _officially_ broken-up. But, he…” Kurt took his eyes off of Blaine long enough to watch Sebastian and Santana singing together. “Seriously, _Sebastian Smythe_?”

“You’re just mad because your whole plan to hook-up with Blaine is an epic fail. Don’t deny it.”

Kurt knew he had busted. “Fine, if I don’t deny it will you please quiet down?” She softened her stance but it was clear she expected details. “I wanted to see if Blaine and I could make it work before I got in too deep with Adam.”

“Nice try, Liar-liar pants on fire.”

“It’s not like the only reason you didn’t invite Brody was you want to have sex with Finn.”

“At least I’m woman enough to admit it. Speaking of Finn, I have to find him. I know the perfect duet for us to sing if we can ever get on stage.” She started to leave but then turned back to Kurt. “I’ve always thought Blaine was hot as fuck but kept it to myself out of respect for you. That’s not happening any more. And by the way, Sebastian is sexy as hell and I bet he’s a stud in bed. Oooh, I wonder if he and Blaine would let me watch? Or join them? Oh, there’s Finn.”

When Rachel ran off, Kurt tried to wrap his head around what she said.

He wasn’t the only one.

“Should we tell someone?” Unique asked Joe who had overheard the conversation as well.

Joe shook his head. “No, everyone is having too much fun. However, if Kurt becomes a problem we tell the others.”

“All of them?”

“I vote yes. We’d need help keeping Seb from going after Kurt.”

Unique put her hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. “Or Kitty. I think she’s still mad at Sam for pulling her away earlier. Come on, let’s go congratulate Seb and Santana on their performance.”

“And find out how we didn’t know Blaine could play cello.”

“That was a given.”

By the time they joined the others, Blaine had pulled Sebastian away. “You truly were spectacular.”

“No, your cello playing was but it requires a few explanations. Like how did the guy from the string quartet know what you wanted and where the hell did your cello come from?”

“I promise we’ll get into it but not now. Sam’s a step past tipsy and wants to perform the _Hot in Herre/Centerfold_ mash-up we did while shooting the Men of McKinley calendar. You saw the video, right?”

“Yeah, Sam sent me a copy after you gave me the calendar. I don’t see the problem. These party animals would love it.”

“The problem is he wants Santana, Quinn, Britt and Sugar to do the Cheerios part with Kitty.”

“So?”

“So, the girls are wearing dresses not cheerleading uniforms with kick pants underneath and I’m pretty sure at least one of them isn’t wearing underwear. Let’s go.”

“You go, I’ll be fine. I should probably eat something before the alcohol catches up with me too. I swear I’ll be a good boy. I’ve changed, remember?”

“No, you haven’t.”

Sebastian’s thought began to race. How could Blaine not see he had changed? Had kept his promise? Blaine told him in the car this wasn’t fake to him. Blaine hated the Old Sebastian. Well, maybe hate was a strong word but…

He was brought back by the feeling of Blaine’s lips on his. “Blaine, I’ve kept my promise.”

“Yes, you kept your promise to stop doing all those things you were doing at the time, but you didn’t change. That guy was the anomaly. This you? This is the you I always saw.” Blaine grabbed ahold of Sebastian’s jacket and pulled him in for another kiss. Nothing big but a little more than the quick pecks they had been sharing. “I’ll be right back. And Bas? My name is Babe.”

_This is the you I always saw_ played on a loop in Sebastian’s head as he went through the buffet line. The sentence was so simple. Eight words. The most beautiful eight words he had ever heard.

It seemed appropriate the girl from the Old New Directions who was always pushed aside for Berry was belting out _I Will Always Love_ _You_.

Kurt had taken the stage before her but left without singing when Blaine went to find Sam. Sebastian felt he should be concerned, but Blaine was out of the room and with his overprotective friends. Plus, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was and with the number of shots he had earlier that probably wasn’t a good thing. He found an empty, secluded table but it didn’t stay that way for long.

“What can I do for you, Marley?” he asked between bites of _amazingly good for a wedding_ food.

“Hey, you knew my name.”

“I guess I did, although I wouldn’t get used to it.”

She knew he was teasing. He wouldn't have learned her name if he didn't care. “I won’t.” Sebastian could tell there was more coming but the girl appeared lost, as if she couldn’t come up with the right words to say. Finally, she blurted out “I just wanted to thank you.”

That sounded a little more sincere than necessary. “Thank me for what?”

“Blaine.”

“You realize I actually had nothing to do with Blaine. You see, one day Daddy Anderson met Mommy Anderson…”

“Stop!” Marley squealed while laughing at the same time. He was glad to hear it. He thought for a moment he had overstepped. “You know that’s not what I meant. I meant thank you for making him smile again.”

“It was nothing.”

Marley reached for his arm which could have been dangerous for as fast as he was shoveling the food in. “No, it’s everything.”

Sebastian put down his fork and sat back in the chair “Marley, what’s going on?”

She looked around to make sure they were alone. “Do you remember I’m the one who fainted during Sectionals?”

“Yes” he answered, having no idea where she was going with this.

“Sebastian, I’m poor. My mom is a lunch lady at school and my dad took off right after I was born.”

Wasn’t expecting that. “So, you’re the stereotypical poor girl with the heart of gold that everyone she meets falls in love with?” He didn’t know a lot about Marley except she could really sing and was the nicest one of the group.

She ignored the implied compliment but her blush showed Sebastian she appreciated it. “When I fainted, I kept telling everyone I was fine, but I wasn’t and I couldn’t go to the doctor because I knew we couldn’t afford it. An hour after I got home a doctor came to my house. I didn’t know they even did that anymore. When he left my mom asked about a bill. He said it was covered. Then all these other things began happening. Healthy meals delivered to the house. Our rent was paid for a year…”

“How do you know it was Blaine?”

“I just do. He’s done something for everyone of us in what you call the New New Directions. Not as big as what he’s done for me but I’m pretty sure he’s at least tried to do the same for Sam and his family.”

The last revelation made something click for him “There’s something going on with Kitty isn’t there? She really went after Hummel.”

Marley didn’t answer but her silence told him everything he needed to know. “Um, so, like I said, thank you. The only thing we could think to do for him was help him be happy again and you make him happy.”

Damn it! Now he was going to have to adopt this one as a little sister too. Stupid Blaine, making him care about these people. “Trust me, Rachel 2.0. There’s no need to thank me. Blaine makes me happy as well.”

“Ugh! Can you not call me Rachel 2.0 or any other name that involves her? Not only do I hate the comparisons, she’s Kurt’s best friend.”

“Ok, let me think.” He actually did because every one of her nicknames was tied to Berry except for the Spice Girl name he couldn’t remember he gave her. “How about Goldie Spice for your heart of gold?”

“I love the Spice Girls! Are we all Spice Girls?”

“Kitty is Kitty, Britt is Britt and Tina is…”

“Hagatha!” They said in unison before breaking out in giggles. Yes, Sebastian Smythe could giggle. At least Blaine’s _This is the you I always saw_ Sebastian Smythe could.

“What’s so funny, Bas?”

Neither Sebastian or Marley noticed Blaine and Santana had joined them until Blaine said something. “Sorry, Babe. It’s between me and Goldie.” He paused to give Marley a wink, letting her know her secret was safe with him. “Where’s Sam? Were you able to talk him out of the song?”

“We did.”

Sebastian was uncomfortable with the smile Blaine gave Santana. “How?”

He was more uncomfortable with the smile Santana gave him. “Easy, Loverboy. It’s time for your big romantic song for Blainers.”

TBC


	4. Secrets, Lies and Bowties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine learns a rather interesting secret about Sebastian and then listens to Kurt’s explanation about what happened with the guy in New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of song lyrics were removed and replaced with dialogue.
> 
> I may have insulted red-heads. I don’t think I did but I mentioned it to my red-headed mother and she wasn’t happy so, if you are offended…I’m sorry.

_Easy, Loverboy. It’s time for your big romantic song for Blainers._

Blaine was watching Sebastian, Sam, Artie, Jake, Ryder, Mike and for some reason Puck, make last minute tweeks to Sebastian’s performance when Santana reappeared beside him “Here’s the deal. I chose this song for two reasons. The first was to piss off Hummel…”

“Naturally.”

“…and the other was to follow your requirement of it had to be embarrassing.”

“Ok? I take it there’s a problem.”

“Well, the embarrassing part was to come from the audience. I assumed anyone related to Mr. Schue would be use to embarrassing performances...”

“Agreed.”

“…but I expected Miss Pillsbury’s family to be uptight like her, not the Raucous Red-Heads who have been partying since we got here. And when I say partying, I mean drinking…a lot. Like they’re happy the wedding didn’t…”

Blaine stopped her when he heard the distinctive opening of Sebastian’s song. “How did you think this would be embarrassing? I sang about sex toys. That was embarrassing!”

“Miss Pillsbury’s family…”

Again, Blaine cut her off, this time by waving his arms in frustration. “Look at them, Santana! I’m pretty sure Ed Sheeran is their spirit animal!” He let out an overexaggerated sigh and headed toward the stage.

(Sebastian) _The club isn't the best place to find a lover_  
_So the bar is where I go_  
(Guys) _MMMM_

Santana hurried to catch him. “Where are you going, you big Drama Queen?” Blaine gave her a wink to show he was kidding before continuing onto the stage.

The simple act relaxed Santana enough to switch her focus. It was time to go have some fun while making it clear to Kurt there was a price to pay for messing with her boy…well, boys. Yeah, that’s right. Sebastian fucking Smythe was now _her boy_.

Guess hell could freeze over.

(Sebastian) _And now I'm singing like_  
_Boy, you know I want your love_  
_Your love was handmade for somebody like me_  
_Come on now, follow my lead_  
_I may be crazy, don't mind me_

Sebastian was intrigued as he watched Blaine join him onstage but was blown-away when he grabbed a microphone, turned the song into a duet and began to (dirty) dance with him.

(Blaine) _Say: "Boy, let's not talk too much_  
_Grab on my waist and put that body on me"_  
_Come on now, follow my lead_  
_Come, come on now, follow my lead_  
(Guys) _MMMM_

(Sebastian and Blaine) _I'm in love with the shape of you_  
_We push and pull like a magnet do_  
_Although my heart is falling too_  
_I'm in love with your body_

 _Last night you were in my room_  
_And now my bed sheets smell like you_  
_Every day discovering something brand new_  
_Oh, I'm in love with your body_

Any reservations about 2 boys signing this song to each other went out the window when everyone in the room (except a jealous ex sulking in the corner) joined in.

(Everyone) _Oh-i-oh-i-oh-i-oh-i_

When the song ended (after an extra chorus of _Oh-i-oh-i-oh-i-oh-i_ at the insistence of the audience), Sebastian was sure Blaine was going to kiss him but it didn’t happen...again. “So, what did you think of the song?” he asked as they exited the stage, trying to refocus his thoughts.

“It wasn’t what I asked for” Blaine replied with the straightest face possible while leading Sebastian away for a moment alone. Once they reached a suitable distance, Blaine faced him sporting a huge, ridiculously cheesy grin. It was amazing how Blaine could say so much with just his eyes and smile, but it was still nice to hear the words. “I loved my song, Bas. Thank you. Did you have fun?”

That was an odd question. “Honestly?”

“No lie to me.”

“Haha.” Actually, it was kind of funny. He liked smart-ass Blaine. “It was the most fun I’ve ever had performing and it wasn’t just because I finally got to sing a duet and _push and pull_ with you. Working with Santana and the guys, watching Kitty, Goldie and the rest of the Spice Girls dancing with…”

“Blaaaaaaaaaaaine! Seeeeeebaaaaaastian! You guys were soooooooo hot!”

“Oh, shit.” Blaine tried to pull the extremely intoxicated Rachel off of him but she had a death grip on his tie. Why had he chosen this day to not wear a bowtie? “Um, thanks Rach. Let’s go find…”

“I love you so much, Blaine. I told Kurt he’s a fucking idiot. And you…” She whipped around and wrapped her arms tightly around Sebastian’s waist. “You were a big meany last year, but can I tell you a secret?”

She was clearly unaware of how loud she was but Sebastian wasn’t about to let anything (not even Blaine’s puppy-dog eyes) deny him this. “Why yes, Rachel, you can tell me a secret. I promise I won’t tell anyone but Blaine.”

She looked up at him as if he was the most wonderful thing in the world. “I love Blaine because, you know, he’s the only one who can keep up with me vocally, but I love you too. When you blackmailed me with naked photos of Finn, I knew I had finally found my other show choir soulmate. Did you know I once sent a girl who wanted to try out for the New Directions to a crack house?”

“Oh, thank god, Finn’s here.” Words Sebastian never thought would come from his mouth. Finn mouthed _Sorry_ as he led a protesting Rachel away with the promise of a duet.

That should be entertaining.

“Are you ok?” Blaine asked as they sat at a table and put their foreheads together to muffle their laughter. “That’s the first time you experienced Drunk Rachel.”

“At least I didn’t make out with her.”

Blaine groaned, although he wasn’t surprised. “Which one of my lovely friends do I have to thank for you having that particular piece of information?”

“Babe, you should know by now, you have some embarrassing performance in your past, _everyone_ has told me about it.” Sebastian decided to ask about the non-kiss thing. He was definitely going to ask why Blaine didn’t go any further than sweet pecks on the lips. He was for sure going to find out if Blaine expected him to be the one to real-kiss him first.

“Bas, you’re chocking me.”

Sebastian didn’t realize he had been playing with Blaine’s tie. Admittingly, he was a little nervous about asking Blaine about the non-kisses but he was doing it.

Right now.

No more delays…

Oh, who was he kidding? He was totally chickening-out. “I just find it strange that you of all people would wear a tuxedo without a bowtie.”

“Why Mr. Sebastian Smythe, do you have a bowtie kink?”

“No…maybe.” Absolutely…positively…but never once imagined using them to tie Blaine to his headboard. Maybe blindfolding him…oh, hell!

“You do! Tell me, how many times have you imagined me naked except for a bowtie?” That answer would be none…until now. “And how many times has the bowtie been around my dick?”

“Blaine, we have to talk.”

Of course, this would be the time Kurt finally managed to get to Blaine. Sebastian was about to tell him to fuck-off but Blaine could tell and stopped him. “I can do this.”

“I know you can but you don’t have to. You don’t owe him anything.”

Blaine gave him one of their (frustratingly) sweet pecks. “Thank you for believing in me.”

“I have always believed in you.”

“Trust me, I know.”

The instant Blaine was beyond the 10 feet away mark, Sebastian found himself surrounded. “Are you sure about this, Seb?” Marley asked.

“It wasn’t my decision to make, Goldie.” He stood and put his arm around her for reassurance but kept a close eye on Kitty. She looked ready to pounce (no pun intended) at a moment’s notice. He felt better when Sam came up from behind and put his hands on her shoulders, basically holding her in place. However, this led to two questions for Sebastian. Why was Kitty so overly protective of Blaine and why was Sam so focused on Kitty and not his girlfriend, Brittany? Santana seemed to be questioning that last fact as well considering Brittany had spent most of the reception with her and Quinn, reuniting the Unholy Trinity.

The most accurate nickname ever given in his opinion.

Across the room, Blaine mentally prepared himself for the conversation. He may have agreed to talk, but that didn’t mean he was going to take it easy on his ex. “What do you want, Kurt?”

“I just wanted to talk to you. I’ve tried all day but someone was always getting in the way.”

“And I’m supposed to drop everything and listen? Typical.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then please explain to me exactly what the fuck it is like because I am beyond tired of this shit.” Kurt doesn’t answer, seemingly shocked by Blaine’s attitude “How’s Adam?”

“How did you know…Adam is just a friend. Blaine, you’re my boyfriend.”

“And they say I’m oblivious.” Blaine took a deep breath to control his volume. The two of them were drawing enough attention. “Kurt, the last time you bothered to Skype with me you said we could discuss our status when I’m in New York next month for my NYADA audition. If what I know is true then you were already dating Adam when we had that conversation. We’re not boyfriends. And seriously, I want to know, do you honestly think so little of me that you thought I would bring Sebastian fucking Smythe of all people as my date if I thought we were still together?”

“So, you’re still going to audition for NYADA?”

“Wow, that’s what you got out of what I said?” Blaine looked over his shoulder at Sebastian and unsurprisingly, pretty much everyone except Finn and Rachel who were headed onstage. When he gave them an eye roll to demonstrate his annoyance it appeared to relieve a lot of their tension. “Anyway, unlike some people, I didn’t apply to one school. Next month I not only have an audition at NYADA but Julliard and Tisch as well.”

“Oh, but NYADA is still your first choice, right? And since you are now friends with Santana, I’m sure she would be more than happy if you stayed with us at the loft. I know Rachel and I would be. I promise I won’t bother you unless you want my help with your auditions.”

Blaine suddenly wanted another drink but he was driving and anticipated leaving in the near future. “No, I won’t stay at the loft and I won’t be surprised if Santana tries to stay with me, Bas and Artie at Bas’ mom’s brownstone in Brooklyn while we’re there. Before you ask, Bas also has auditions at Julliard and Tisch. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve kept him and my friends waiting long enough.” He walked away but Kurt circled around and blocked his path.

“Blaine, I’m sorry…”

“No, you’re sorry you got caught. Goodbye Kurt and I mean goodbye for good. I’m sure we’ll see each other around since I still plan on going to college in New York and we know a lot of the same people. But, do us both a favor and don’t speak to me out of fear of being rude. I promise I won’t take offense and you should do the same.”

Sebastian had been one second away from going to get him when Blaine started to walk back to their group. The smirk on his face was all the reassurance any of them needed but Sebastian still asked “You ok, Babe?”

“More than… What the hell?”

(Finn) _I know it's late_  
_I know you're weary_  
_I know your plans don't include me_

Blaine held out his hand and the others tried to act like they weren't watching. “Dance with me.”

Sebastian reached out then pulled back. “Are you sure? Drunk Rachel’s going to sing and we all know it’s going to be hysterical.”

“Dance with me.”

(Rachel) _Deep in my soul_  
_I've been so lonely_  
_All of my hopes now so fading away_  
_I've longed for love_  
_Like everyone else does_  
_I know I'll keep searching after today_

Rachel’s words washing over him, Sebastian pulled Blaine tighter. He had been lonely but didn’t realize it until Blaine came back into his life and drug Santana, Sam, Artie, Kitty, Goldie and the rest of the New New Directions with him. He didn’t want to search anymore. He wanted this life with these people.

He’d even take Drunk Rachel (and Finn) winning the prize for most inappropriately appropriate wedding reception song.

 _We've got tonight_  
_Who needs tomorrow?_  
_We've got tonight, babe, why don't we stay?_

 But as they must, all good thing come to an end. Blaine pulled him down by the lapels and gave him yet another sweet non-kiss. “Let’s get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shape of You: Sheeran, Ed; Mac, Steve; McDaid, Johnny; Briggs, Kevin; Burruss, Kandi; Cottle, Tameka 2017 * Note* I am aware this came out several years after canon but didn't care :)
> 
> We’ve Got Tonight (Glee Cast Version): Seger, Bob 1978


	5. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine and Sebastian continue to get to know each other better as they wait for their “real” date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Events from several Season 4 Episodes following 4x14 I Do are mentioned but not necessarily in the order they happened in canon.
> 
> Please read end notes for details on future chapters.

It took longer to leave than expected. By the time Sebastian made it to Blaine’s car he had exchanged phone numbers, emails and every form of social media information with all members of the New New Directions. He also scheduled Skype time with both Marley and Kitty. While Marley’s time centered around a “Blaine mystery” she wanted his help with, Kitty was different. It was like she was testing him to find out if he was trustworthy enough to learn the secret she and Blaine (and most likely Sam) shared. He was ok with that.

The first half of the drive back to Dalton was silent except for the car radio playing cheesy love songs in honor of Valentine’s Day. For some reason Sebastian wasn’t surprised when Blaine turned up the radio and began to sing along to the cheesiest one of all.

(Blaine) _How can I just let you walk away - just let you leave without a trace?_  
_When I stand here taking every breath with you, oooo_  
_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

Oh, what the hell.

(Sebastian) _How can you just walk away from me when all I can do is watch you leave?_  
_'cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears_  
_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

A call from Blaine’s mom over his Bluetooth interrupted the song which was fine with Sebastian. The part about walking away while the other was in pain and tears hit him in a way he had almost let himself forget.

“Bas, are you ok?”

He hadn’t realized he was so far in his head. “Yeah, I was just thinking how I should call my mom.” Which wasn’t a total lie. He had thought about it at some point that day. “Did your mom want anything in particular? I was trying not to listen.”

“Just to check in. Are you sure you’re ok?”

Mention the Slushie or deflect? Um…duh, deflect. “I was trying to figure out with all the sappy songs on the radio you chose that particular one to sing to?”

“It was Phil Collins, Bas. He’s my absolute favorite guilty pleasure. Well, him and Wham…Stop laughing!”

“No!” Frankly, he couldn’t if he tried. It wasn’t necessarily Phil Collins, it was the break in the tension he had built up in his head.

That and Blaine was really sexy when he was annoyed.

“Like you don’t have a musical guilty pleasure.”

“Nope. Sorry, Babe.”

“You’re lying, Sebastian.”

“Uh-oh, you called me Sebastian. Ok, let me think. I guess _Creep_ by Radiohead.”

It was a good thing they were already in Dalton’s parking lot with as abruptly as Blaine hit the breaks. ”You take that back right now, Sebastian Smythe. Radiohead are gods.”

Sebastian threw up his hands in surrender…

 _He's running out again,_  
_He's running out_  
_He's run run run run_

 _Whatever makes you happy_  
_Whatever you want_  
_You're so fuckin' special_  
_I wish I was special_

“What I meant was 13 year-old me got a lot of pleasure pissing off my father by singing the word _fuck_ at the top of my lungs for most of the summer.”

Blaine shut off the car and turned to face him with the smile Sebastian was sure he would haunt his dreams. “I can see that.”

The silence returned, both of them smiling at each other but not knowing what to do next. Sebastian decided he had two options, the first being to bring up the non-kiss. He, of course, went with option two. “Goldie asked me to look into something for her but I already know the answer.”

“Intriguing. Just what do you think you know?”

“I know we go to a diner every Wednesday that none of the Warblers remember you ever mentioning but was supposedly your favorite. I know you make sure we always get the same waitress and insist on leaving the tip. And I know Jake’s mom was suddenly able to afford the extra dance classes she said she couldn’t…what are you smiling about you Cheshire Cat?”

“You like them and not because they’re my friends. They’re your friends too. All of the New New Directions, not only Sam, Artie and surprisingly Marley and Kitty.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Nothing. I think it’s great.”

Sebastian knew there was more but let it go. The sun was beginning to set meaning this perfect day was over. “I better go in.”

“You should.” Blaine said the words but grabbed his hand and wouldn’t let go. “Thank you for doing this for me, Bas. I don’t know if I could have…”

“Stop.” It was jarring to watch Blaine let doubt take over. He hadn’t seen this happen in a while but before they had gone into the reception Blaine admitted he was at 98%. It’s why, no matter how it felt, today was a fake date. Why they would take another 2 weeks of getting to know each other before having a real date.

It’s why Blaine didn’t kiss him.

For the first time it was Sebastian who leaned in and gave the short, sweet peck. “You were amazing. Now, I’m going in but I have a favor to ask before I go.”

“Yes, I gave Jake’s mom the money.”

“Not that, although you might want to talk to Goldie because she’s not going to let it go. I wanted to ask if you could wear a bowtie when we have our Skype date tomorrow night.”

Blaine’s smile returned as he let go of Sebastian’s hand. “Maybe.”

An hour later Sebastian had given a full run-down of the non-wedding/reception to Trent (he could tell the others), showered and was getting ready to start on his history paper when his phone began to ping…and ping…and ping. The first 7 texts were members of the New New Directions (they definitely needed a different name) making sure he hadn’t given them a bogus number. Next was Marley (oops, got to change her name) saying Blaine told her about Jake but she promised not to say anything.

He almost wet himself laughing at Sam’s message saying Drunk Rachel was at the Hudson-Hummel’s demanding he give her Sebastian’s number. Evidently it was pissing off Hummel. That should be fun when they’re back in New York.

After what Sam wrote, Santana trying to convince him to let her stay at the brownstone wasn’t a big surprise. He had made the mistake of telling her it would be his when he graduated. When he was younger it upset him that his parents got back at each other by one-upmanship in attempts to buy his favor. This time it got him a brownstone in Brooklyn so he wasn’t going to complain. He just needed to figure out a way to get his mom to redo the downstairs bathroom for Artie.

Note to self…convince Artie to move in with you (and hopefully Blaine) when he’s accepted to film school.

There was only one text after Santana’s.

_From Blaine: In 2 weeks, I am going to kiss you for real and it will be spectacular._

Oh…wow.

 _From Sebastian: Spectacular? You have a lot of faith in yourself Anderson_  
_From Blaine: I have a lot of faith in us_  
_From Blaine: And Bas, my name is Babe_

If the fake date was perfect, the next 12 days were 1,000 steps beyond that. The first week centered around the New Directions getting ready for Regionals. The first thing that happened was a problem with the venue in Indianapolis so the event was moved to McKinley causing extra grief for Schuester who was already on edge after being dumped at the altar. Blaine didn’t say anything but that didn’t mean Sebastian didn’t hear about how he and Schuester got into it about performing one of Marley’s original songs. He was half-way to McKinley when he got a call from Artie saying the advisor had apologized.

Wednesday’s diner date was a bit awkward. Jake’s mom had finally figured out who they were. No one told her, she had just put together pieces of conversations overheard between Jake and “his friends”. After thanking Blaine profusely yet again, she made him promise to stop leaving tips.

But Sebastian didn’t promise anything.

A huge surprise happened Friday when Wes Montgomery unexpectedly arrived at Dalton. He had been on a dig site in Egypt for the past 8 months as part of his Archeology degree. Sebastian marveled as he watched the Warblers who participated with Hunter being shamed to the brink of tears (hell, Thad cried like a baby). It was a much different meeting than the day he had been introduced to Blaine’s mentor…a week after Slushie-gate.

As part of their penance for _besmirching the Warblers’ good name_ , Wes made them attend Regionals and sit in the audience wearing their uniforms (Sebastian and Trent were excused). Blaine was ecstatic to see him. They had hit a rough patch when Blaine left Dalton but had worked through it. He was more concerned with Wes’ opinion of Sebastian. Thankfully, Wes understood while Sebastian technically threw the Slushie and took full blame, it was not entirely his fault. There was enough blame to go around.

The New Directions performed last and Sebastian was on his feet from the moment they were announced. When he realized the duet Blaine and Marley were singing was the song Marley wrote, he thought his heart would burst with pride. They were incredible and if the judges didn’t see it then they were a bunch of fucking idiots.

The wait for the announcement was excruciating. Sebastian never remembered it being this bad even when he was the one performing. But, in the end, there was nothing to worry about. The New Directions were going back to Nationals.

Sebastian had anticipated the following week would drag with the excitement of Regionals and Wes’ arrival behind them. Silly boy, he was part of the New Directions world now. He should have known better.

Monday brought the revelation that Finn had kissed the Runaway Bride a couple of days before the wedding. Between Santana’s hourly updates of whether Rachel was crying or throwing things and the video of the epic Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC feud he barely had time to finish his homework. Well, he might have had more time if he hadn’t had to take a _looooong_ shower after watching the way Blaine could move while tied up.

Tuesday the girls translated the theme of _feud_ into _infighting_ and performed a hilarious version of a Spice Girl’s song and dedicated it to him. Part of why it was so funny was because they had 6 members instead of 5 but Sugar said she didn’t count because she didn’t sing. He had so many comebacks about the actual members of the Spice Girls but he let them go. If that wasn’t a sign of how much he had changed, he didn’t know what else he could do.

Wednesday brought what was probably (definitely) the biggest shock of Sebastian’s life. “What the hell are you wearing?”

“It’s a Cheerio uniform” Blaine answered as he slid across the seat in their booth at the diner. “I told you about this.”

“You told me you and Sam thought the cheerleading coach was doing some shady shit so Nightbird and the Blond Chameleon were going to look into it. You never said anything about having to wear polyester. Nightbird wears leather pants and an unnecessary cape that covers his amazing ass.”

“Amazing ass, huh?”

“Babe, Unique and Mob Princess Barbie made a drinking game out of every time they caught me checking-out your ass at the _We won_ _Regionals_ party. That’s why they were drunk in 20 minutes. Now, stop deflecting. What’s going on? This doesn’t have anything to do with whatever secret there is between you and Kitty?”

“No, although if it did, I couldn’t tell you. But I promise, this is just so one of us is on the inside.”

Something wasn’t sitting right with him but Sebastian didn’t want to waste what little time he and Blaine had together. “Ok, I’ll let this go on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“When we’re dating for real, you show me how flexible you are.”

“Deal.”

The reason Sebastian was so concerned with time was he and Blaine wouldn’t talk again until their date on Saturday. He was spending all day Thursday in test prep for his 3 hour AP Biology exam Friday morning. Then he had the sheer joy (sarcasm) of having dinner with his dad and his latest girlfriend Friday night. Marley tried to convince him it was romantic that he and Blaine wouldn’t see each other for the 48 hours before their date.

He’d have to trust her on that one.

The test Friday morning wasn’t as bad as he anticipated. He had hated it at the time but had to admit the test prep was worth it. Leaving the class room, he turned on his phone to find an insane amount of missed calls and texts but a particular voicemail notification caught his eye. Why would Blaine call him when he knew his phone would be shut off for testing?

_Bas, I promise it was real. It was always real._

“Sebastian”

His father was standing there…and the Head Master…and Wes…and the Warblers. They all had expressions of forced stoicism except for Wes. He was crying.

That should have been his first clue.

“Son, there was a shooting at McKinley. I’m so sorry.”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, if you’ve read my stories before, you know I like “cliffhangers”. This is a big one. I purposely didn’t include warnings (for the first time) due to this so if you are upset…I apologize. I am not going to comment on Blaine’s fate so there will be no warnings at the beginning of Chapter 6 either. 
> 
> Against All Odds: Collins, Phil 1985
> 
> Creep: Campbell, JR; Hubbard, George; Smith, Bill 1992


	6. Say What You Need To Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes there are no answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been told mostly through Sebastian’s POV but that doesn’t happen here until the last 1/3 of the chapter.
> 
> This chapter is longer than others but I believe you will understand why.

Author's Note: Although it is not stated directly, Blaine's family is aware of everything that happened with Sebastian both past and present

* * *

 

 

**Five Days Later: Dalton Academy Auditorium**

Santana wished she was anywhere else. That the nightmare of the past 5 days would be over and Blaine and Kitty were with their friends in the choir room singing some ridiculous song with the puppets Blaine was making.

Seriously…puppets.

“Tana!”

She began to walk down the aisle to where several of the McKinley contingent were waiting and was almost knocked over when Brittany ran into her arms. As good as it felt to hold her, Santana became annoyed when she noticed a particular someone was missing. “Sweetie, where’s Trouty?”

Brittany pulled back and kissed her, not in a best friend’s kind of way. “Sam’s with Blaine’s family, Wes, Seb and Kitty” Brittany said when they finally came up for air. “He told me to go be happy with you. That time is too short and we should be with the one we love. That he knows I love him but I’m in love with you. I am, Santana, I really am.”

Santana cursed herself for being pissed with Sam. Of course, he would be with Blaine’s family. And the other part, Sam might have said the words but she had a feeling the sentiment came from someone else.

They headed back to the group only to be met halfway by Quinn. “The Evans have arrived and Sam asked if I could look after Stevie and Stacie. They really loved Blaine.” She pulled her compact and a tissue from her purse to check her make-up. “Those two angels have gone through too much in their lives. It’s not fair.”

“Here” Santana reached into a bag then handed Quinn 3 handkerchiefs with _BA_ monogramed in the corner. “Blaine gave me one when he found me crying one day at McKinley…I know, big surprise. I asked his mom if he had anymore so I could give them to some of the girls and she laughed. He had an entire drawer full. Mrs. Anderson gave me most of them and said to give them to anyone who needed one.”

“Like she gave all of us New New Directions a bowtie” Brittany said softly as she touched the fabric around her neck. They were all wearing them.

They exchanged hugs before Quinn headed to the Evans and Brittana to their friends. After yet another round of hugs, Santana remembered something Brittany said. “Kitty’s here? When did she get out of the hospital? Has she remembered anything?”

“No” Marley told her as she accepted a handkerchief. “Just that Blaine pushed her out of the way. It must have been bad if he pushed her hard enough to break her arm and give her a concussion.”

“I still can’t believe Anderson pushed her away like that” Puck off-handedly remarked which earned him a slap across the face from Tina.

“Blaine pushed Kurt out of the way to protect him from a Slushie and you can’t believe he would push Kitty out of the way of a gun! Oh god, please don’t tell Seb…” Mike wrapped his arm around her and led her away mouthing _I’ve got this_. Jake, Ryder and Joe took Puck aside to (in Jake’s words) _Pray he stops saying stupid shit_.

With that settled, Santana went further. “Has anyone seen or heard from Sue or Becky? Did they really just disappear…”

“Oh, hell no.”

Those with their back to the entrance turned to see what set Unique off. Dressed all in black including hat with huge black feather and dabbing his eyes with a black handkerchief, was an over-emotionally wrought Kurt. Burt said something before he, Carol and the Berrys went to talk with the other political figures (who knew Blaine’s dad was _that_ Michael Anderson?) leaving an exasperated Finn and Rachel to handle the drama.

“I thought Cooper specifically told Hummel not to pull this bullshit today” Santana growled. She started to go put a stop to whatever was about to happen when she felt a hand on her arm.

“Let him come” Artie said with a resolve none of them had heard. “I made a promise to Blaine and I plan to keep it.”

_**Artie took the phone from Blaine’s hand, Mr. Schue yelling at him to keep Blaine awake. He prayed Sebastian hadn’t heard that. “Yo, Blaine…you’ve got to stay with me, Dude. Oh, hey, there we go. I can see why Seb can go on and on about the color of your eyes.”** _

_**“Artie, I need…”** _

_**“Let me get Sam.”** _

_**“No, it needs to be you. You’ve always been our real leader. Our director. Sam and I may have the crazy ideas but everyone looks to you for approval to go with them.”** _

_**“Blaine…”** _

_**“Please.”** _

_**Paramedics (finally) came running into the room and Artie knew there wouldn’t be much time. “What do you need me to do?”** _

“But that was _the_ staircase. Blaine took my hand and we ran down _that_ hall.”

“Kurt, just stop.” Finn hissed before facing the group with an expression which both asked forgiveness and begged for help. “Hi, everyone.”

“Finn. Rachel. Kurt, I was there when you were told this was a celebration of life and not a memorial service. The Anderson’s specifically requested no black.”

“Artie, Blaine…”

“…loved Sebastian.”

That was new, although not a surprise. Well, to everyone but Kurt.

“Take…that…back.”

“Look Kurt, I promised Blaine I would tell the people he loved certain things, which I won’t share, except you weren’t one of them. So, this whole grieving boyfriend act doesn’t work. I’m sorry to be so blunt because I do know you’re hurting, but you were warned by Wes.”

A guy they didn’t recognized stepped forward from a group of Warblers who had joined them. However, Kurt knew exactly who he was. “Hello, David. It’s nice…”

“Don’t even try, Hummel. Wes told you not to pull that victim shit again. Now I get to do what he and I should have done 3 years ago and throw your ass out of here.”

_**Tell Wes none of this is his fault. Tell him to tell David the same.** _

Artie made a mental note to check if that happened.

“What’s going on?” Burt Hummel had impeccable timing. After an explanation, he had David and the other Warblers escort him and Kurt to seats at back of the auditorium. It was a compromise, though none of them expected it to work.

Seeing Wes, Sam, Kitty and Sebastian come in was the signal for everyone to find their seats, but before she did Santana had to ask Artie something. “When Blaine told you to tell people things, did he tell Sam to break-up with Britt so we could get back together?”

“Not sharing.”

_**Tell Sam to stop being an idiot like I was. He needs to let go of Brittany and admit he’s in love with Kitty. And if Britt doesn’t go running back to Santana, fix that too.** _

So many people had wanted to speak or perform but the Andersons had only chosen a few, placing them in an order that made a timeline of Blaine’s life. After they thanked everyone, a children’s orchestra Blaine had once been in performed _I Dreamed a Dream_ , a song Blaine would often play for his mom since it was her favorite.

Next was Cooper. With the help of a combination of the McKinley Jazz band, the Dalton orchestra and girls of the New New Directions (minus Kitty) singing back up, he played piano and sang a beautiful rendition of _Ordinary World_ by Duran Duran.

 _But I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world,_  
_Somehow I have to find._

 _And as I try to make my way, to the ordinary world_  
_I will learn to survive._

The production was big but the performance was understated yet haunting. It was nothing anyone expected from the over-the-top Cooper Anderson but maybe he wasn’t that person anymore. Maybe none of them were.

_**Tell Cooper he’s the most talented person I ever knew and to remember why he wanted to be a performer in the first place. It wasn’t for fame, it was for the joy. And Broadway isn’t dead.** _

Wes spoke for the Warblers. He didn’t mention why Blaine came to Dalton. Instead, he told the story of the shy, quiet boy who turned into the boy who sung at the top of his lungs while jumping on furniture. A particular story about Blaine crashing through a 100 year old table had everyone wiping tears, but this time through laughter. When he finished, Warblers past and present sang together.

 _Say what you need to say_  
_Say what you need to say_  
_Say what you need to say_  
_Say what you need to say-ay-ay_

It didn’t go unnoticed that neither Wes or Sebastian joined them.

_**Thank Wes for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself.** _

Those who had not been around lately were stunned when Santana took the stage to speak for (last year’s) New Directions. Even if he and Kurt weren’t together, shouldn’t it be Rachel or Finn or Mr. Schue? Santana didn’t shy away from it.

“Bet a lot of you are thinking _What the fuck?_...oops, heck. Last year I might have agreed with you but for the past few weeks, Blaine Anderson was one the best friend I ever had…ever will have. But I want to tell you the story of how I, as Brittany likes to say, developed a soft spot for the Acapella Dreamboat.”

She told the story of how she was outted. How Finn organized the guys of the New Directions to sing for her. How after Blaine _Perfect_ for her and she was a total bitch to him. Her bit of revisionist history earned a minor disruption from the back of the auditorium but it was quickly quashed.

Santana continued with what happened with her Abuela and how it crushed her. “Of course, I turned into an even bigger bitch but Blaine didn’t give up on me. Nobody knew but every day he would find me and ask… _Are you happy today?_ Seriously, every…fu…dging…day. I’d say _No_ , he’d give me a piece of chocolate and say _Hopefully tomorrow_. Finally, one day I asked _What happens if I say yes?_ He pulled a giant bag of chocolates out of that stupid bag of his and said _I’d give you this because you wouldn’t need me anymore_.”

She had been wavering for a while before she totally lost it. “I never said Yes. Damn it, Blaine! I never said Yes!”

Several people stood but by that time Wes was on stage with Santana sobbing in his arms. When she was able to catch her breath, she gave him a nod and he signaled the band.

(Wes) _Made a wrong turn, once or twice_  
_Dug my way out, blood and fire_  
_Bad decisions, that's alright_  
_Welcome to my silly life_

(Santana) _Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_  
_Miss "No way, it's all good", it didn't slow me down_  
_Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated_  
_Look, I'm still around_

_**Tell Santana she was always Perfect** _

The New New Directions took the stage together. They had never planned on speaking and after Santana they knew they made the right decision. Plus, they had said everything they wanted to at their personal gathering.

(Artie) _Just yesterday mornin', they let me know you were gone_  
_Blaine, man the plans they made put an end to you_

(Sam) _I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song_  
_I just can't remember who to send it to_

(All) _I've seen fire and I've seen rain_  
_I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end_  
_I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend_  
_But I always thought that I'd see you again_

_**Keep the New New Directions together. This family we made is so special.**_

Once everyone was back in their seats, they braced themselves for the last speaker.

“My name is Sebastian Smythe and I hate everyone in this room, some of you more than others.”

Artie looked back to Jake, Ryder and Joe who understood immediately…be prepared to get Sebastian off the stage.

“I hate you, Blaine’s family, because you had over 17 years with him. I only had Blaine in my life for 16 months and for most of them we weren’t speaking.”

“I hate you, Wes, and the rest of the Dalton boys who were given the gift of Blaine Warbler. You got to know the boy who was sex-on-a-stick and sung like a dream. I only got him in videos.”

And then…

“I hate you last year’s Warblers. You talked me into something and when it backfired made sure everyone knew it was all my fault...especially me.”

“I hate you last year’s New Directions. You took the worst mistake of my life and made it about yourselves. Was I an asshole? Absolutely, but I hurt _Blaine_. You were the ones who saw his pain as a means to an end to win a show choir competition.”

“I hate you Will Schuester. Blaine probably would have been back at Dalton except he felt couldn’t abandon the New New Directions like you did.”

Tears took over which totally pissed him off. He had cried enough.

“I hate you Hagatha, Britt, Unique, Mob Princess Barbie, Mega Stud twins and Dreads. You didn’t have to make him promises to be nice.”

“I hate you Goldie because you wrote an amazing song and got to sing it with him for his last competition performance.”

“I hate you Kitty because you got his last smile. I know how the two of you were together and have no doubt you were both smiling when you walked into that room.”

“I hate you Sam because you were his best friend. You brought out the goofy, geeky side of him I’ll never have the opportunity to know.”

At this point he found Artie, who nodded knowing what Sebastian would say. They had already discussed it. It was the second worst conversation of his life. “I hate you Artie because you got his last words.”

Sebastian clutched his fists and forced himself to take a breath. There was a huge internal debate going on within him. He had left Kurt for the end because he still hadn’t decided which way to go. Should he say what he wanted to say or ignore him completely? As with many decisions he had had to make lately, there was never really a choice.

“Then there’s you Hummel. Everyone knows I hate you in general but in this moment, I hate you because you were the one who had his kisses…his touch…his passion…his love. All I have is the satisfaction of knowing you’ll be tormented forever by the fact that, in the end, he chose me and you have no one to blame but yourself.”

Brittany quickly kissed Santana to prevent commentary (or cheering) while Ryder couldn’t help but let out a “ _Burnnnn_ ” under his breath, earning giggles from those around him. The sound of the giggles was loud enough to reach Sebastian. It helped him move on.

“Fortunately, Blaine convinced me I’m not really Sebastian Smythe. I’m Bas, a person who smiles and laughs and has fun with his friends. I like Bas. I want to be Bas. The thing is, I don’t know if I can be him without Blaine…I’m sorry, this is where he would correct me and say _Bas, my name is Babe_.”

“No” All eyes widened to see Marley standing. “He would have said it like _Baaas, my name is Babe_.”

A few seats down, Sugar stood up. “Your emphasis is wrong. _Ba-as, MY name is Babe_.”

“Girl, you’re leaving out our man’s trademark eye roll” Unique added before performing her impression.

The rest New New Directions, even Kitty, got in their impressions causing the rest of those gathered to break out in hard, uproarious laughter. Sebastian smiled at the scene made by his crazy friends…oh.

It all made sense. Blaine had wanted him to be friends with these people. With Kitty, Marley, Jake, Ryder and Unique, he had no past. Joe’s faith made him the most forgiving person he had ever met. Sugar was not far behind, plus her daddy probably had guys working for him that made him look like Joe. Brittany loved Santana which by default meant she had to at least like him. Hagatha (oops)Tina would never like him but would try for Blaine’s sake. Sam was all for second chances besides being a genuinely nice guy. And with Artie…Sebastian didn’t know why the two of them worked but they did. For the first time he could see the possibility of having a best friend.

To them, he was already Bas.

_**Remind Bas he’s not alone** _

“Thanks, Babe” Sebastian whispered as he walked over and sat at the piano. As the audience and band got situated, he contemplated explaining his song choice but decided to be selfish and keep the story for himself.

 _How can I just let you walk away - just let you leave without a trace?_  
_When I stand here taking every breath with you, oooo_  
_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

 _How can you just walk away from me when all I can do is watch you leave?_  
_'cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears_  
_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

 _So, take a look at me now - well, there's just an empty space_  
_And there's nothing left here to remind me - just the memory of your face_  
_Take a look at me now, well, there's just an empty space_  
_And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face_

 _I wish I could just make you turn around - turn around and see me cry_  
_There's so much I need to say to you - so many reasons why_  
_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

Sebastian closed his eyes and transported himself back to Blaine’s car. It was as if Blaine had been waiting to join in.

 _So take a look at me now, well, there's just an empty space_  
_And there's nothing left here to remind me - just the memory of your face_  
_Now, take a look at me now 'cause there's just an empty space_  
_But to wait for you is all I can do and that's what I've got to face_  
_Take a good look at me now 'cause I'll still be standing here_  
_And you coming back to me is against all odds - it's the chance I've got to take_

With the last word, Sebastian found himself back in the auditorium. He knew he hadn’t actually been singing a duet but without the presence of Blaine the ending felt…final.

Like a goodbye

_Take a look at me, now_

_**Tell Bas I’ll be watching** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ordinary World: Cuccurullo, Warren; Le Bon, Simon; Rhodes, Nick; Taylor, John 1993
> 
> Say (Glee Version): Meyer, John 2008. Say was sung at the end of Episode 4x18 Shooting Star
> 
> Perfect (Glee Version): Martin, Max; Moore, Alecia; Schuster, Johan 2010
> 
> Fire and Rain (Glee Version): Taylor, James 1970. I purposefully tried not to use songs from The Quarterback but I couldn’t get past this one.
> 
> Against All Odds: Collins, Phil 1985
> 
> While I tried to keep the canon events I referenced between Episodes 4x11 and 4x23, the puppets were in Episode 5x07 Puppet Master.


	7. Living With A New Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 15 months later, Sebastian is ready to move on until he hears a familiar song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback dialogues are in bold italics.
> 
> Thu…ump equals the sound of one heartbeat

I planned on making Chapter 6 the end. Like I said in one of the comments, this story never seemed like it caught on like _Little Brothers_ and _World Wide News_ did.

I assumed it had something to do with the structure of this story (being told primarily from Sebastian's POV, using the New New Directions as primary secondary characters, Warblers not necessarily shown in the best light) because it was so different. That and my OCD on finishing Seblaine Week 2018 WIPs in 2018 and not having time for _Saving Myself_   made a perfect storm of self-doubt.

_This was NEVER a ploy  or attempt to seek more comments/feedback_

But then you guys came along. You will never understand how much your "yelling" at me means. It could be the best gift I will receive this week.

I hope this was worth all the drama. No pressure.

Happy holidays to all my Seblaine family.

* * *

 

**15 Months Later…Florence, Italy**

“Damn it, when I told Joe to get a little jungle fever on his mission trip, I didn’t mean an actual jungle fever to where he would have to chop off his dreads. Is he going to be ok?...Good. What about Coop?...Was he able to get me a ticket for opening night?...Yeah, I know. Stupid question, but from everything I’ve heard, Hamilton is already the hardest ticket on Broadway to get and the frickin’ show hasn’t opened yet. Has any of the rest of the Fam figured out I’m coming?...Satan, you can keep the secret for another week. I want to surprise them at Nationals…Would it really be a three-peat? That Jean-Baptist guy was a dick but we all know he wasn’t too far off when he said they gave us the trophy out of sympathy…We were all on the verge of tears through all three songs and both Kitty and Tina cried through the Katy Perry number…Satan…Santana, I’ve got to go or Christian will take my phone and smash it. Oh, Rachel news?...Uh-huh…Uh-huh…Really?...Ok, kiss Britt for me and tell Artie I’ll talk to him later…Love you too. Bye.”

Sebastian ended the call and put his phone in his pocket. “If you yell at me, I won’t tell you what Santana told me about Rachel.”

“Bastian, we have been in Florence for 2 days and you have spent the majority of them on the phone with the Fam.”

Along with Sebastian, three others (Santana, Wes and Cooper) joined the group of friends based in the New New Directions. They had to come up with a new (and easier) moniker and settled on the Fam, which was of course short for family. Blaine always said they were one. Then following graduation, Sebastian’s parents offered him a gap year of travel. Yes, both parents…together. The Fam encouraged him to take them up on the offer so he did, and it was the best thing he could have done.

If he would have gone straight to New York, everything would have been a reminder of what he and Blaine would never have. It wouldn’t allow him to move on. Here, a year later, he was at a point where he was ready to try…almost.

“They keep calling because Blaine’s birthday is…was in a few days.”

“Before or after your return?”

“Day of?” Christian tilted his head and cocked his eyebrow in a manner Sebastian found eerily familiar. “I thought it was a good day for a 9 hour flight.”

“To sit in solitude and wallow?”

“To legally drink a bottle of wine for the last time in 2 years then sleep.”

“Bastian…”

“Chris, one milestone at a time.”

“Fine.” Christian stood from the bench and threw the last of his bread to the birds who had pestered him while he waited. He linked his arm in Sebastian’s and began to walk. “Let’s go. The restaurant opens in 30 minutes. You can tell me what Santana told you about my future wife along the way.”

There was no way in hell Christian was marrying Rachel. Not only would Sebastian never allow that woman in his family but “You, my dear cousin, are the gayest gay man in the history of gay. Why in the name of our insane trust funds would you want to marry Rachel Berry?”

“I can’t help that I find her fascinating. First of all, she’s already in a platonic non-binding gay-straight marriage with he who shall not be named. I could save her from that hell. And now that she quit NYADA only to be summarily fired from her Broadway play, she’ll have plenty of time to sit and drink martini’s all day with me. According to you, Drunk Rachel is the best Rachel.”

“What about sex?”

“She can occasionally fly back to the bean farm…”

“Lima.”

“And have trysts with the high school boy…”

“College student, Finn”

“Cheating on me like she did with her last lover…”

“Brody”

“While I sample what New York has to offer. We should have an understood annulment excuse, just in case. I’ve had my fill, pun intended, of the boys here in Italy.”

“And France, and England, and…”

“Well, at least I haven’t taken a vow of chastity.” Christian stopped abruptly, almost tripping them both. “Oh, Bastian…”

“No, you’re right. I know we weren’t together when Blaine di…went away but it still feels like I would be cheating on him. Not in a whatever arrangement you would have with Rachel kind of way.”

“You and Blaine were together. Tina made that video… _Seblaine, a love for all times_ to prove it. I still can’t listen to Ed Sheeran without welling up.”

“Yeah, she used _Thinking Out Loud_ because we sang Ed…” Something wasn’t right. “How did you know about the video?”

“Darling, I have been a member of the Fam for months. Did you honestly believe they blindly accepted your cryptic _I’m fine_ ’s?” Christian showed Sebastian his call history which was almost identical to his. How had he hidden this all these months? “I’ve been in constant contact with them since Arthur returned to America. And I swear by the god of Gucci, I spoke with no one of your impending return unless they were already aware of you impending return.”

“Artie flew over with me and then left a week later.” Sebastian couldn’t decide if he was heart-warmed or annoyed by the fact everyone felt the need to check up on him. He was pretty sure he would eventually get to heart-warmed. “Thank you for doing that for them.”

“Anything for the people my favorite cousin…”

“Only cousin”

“Probably loves more than he loves me.” Before Sebastian could protest, Christian stopped him. “Now, with that settled, we really should hurry. Plus, you still owe me the news of my beloved.”

Sebastian couldn’t help but notice there was more of an urgency to their pace than before. “I will tell you everything I know about Miss Rachel Berry but first, what the hell is it with you and this fucking restaurant? Why do we have to eat there tonight? We have 3 more days in Florence.”

“Oh child…”

“I’m 8 months older than you”

“Their Papardelle al Cinghiale is widely renown as the best in all of Florence, if not the world.”

“All this fuss for wild boar pasta?”

“Papardelle al Cinghiale, Bastian. This tiny, what Americans call _hole-in-the-wall,_ has done the same thing for 100 years, even…through…war. From March thru November, for the first 5 days of the month, the restaurant closes and the family goes and actually _kiiiillls_ a _boooaaar_. Starting on the 6th, they serve their usual menu while they roast the pig and develop the sauce. Then the last day of the month they serve only the Papardelle al Cinghiale. You don’t want to know what I had to do to ensure us a table.”

No, Sebastian was sure he didn’t but he was glad for whatever it was when he saw the crowd outside. There was no way this place sat more than 50 people at a time and there had to be at least 200 standing around. He reached for his phone to take a picture but Christian stopped him.

“No phones, in fact, turn it off. The owners say since they put so much attention into making the meal, diners must show appreciation by putting just as much attention into eating it. If they don’t, they will be thrown out and barred for returning. Quick-quick, our table is ready and I refuse to allow you to deny me my Rachel update one moment longer.”

_When you were here before_

Sebastian stopped, hearing the lyrics of the far too familiar song coming from inside the restaurant.

_Couldn't look you in the eye_

Christian knew Sebastian’s expression. It was his _I’ve been hit by a Blaine memory_ face. “I’ll go get the table. You’ve got 15 minutes before I send someone to get you.”

_You look like an angel_

What his cousin couldn’t know was how much this sounded like Blaine. Hearing what could be mistaken for his voice brought on a flood of memories.

_Your skin makes me cry_

_**Are you a freshman?** _

_You float like a feather_

_**Sebastian, of course it was you** _

_In a beautiful world_

_**Ok, but if we do this, we do it right. We go as a couple, complete with pet names and all the PDAs. Kissing, hand holding…no, your hand would be on my ass…** _

_You're so very special_

**_If we were to take the word fake out of this, I’d be all in. It wouldn’t be dating to me. It would be everything._ **

_I wish I was special_

_**And despite you saying in the past you don’t do boyfriends, I really think you could and would be amazing.** _

_But I'm a creep_

_**That guy was the anomaly. This you? This is the you I always saw.** _

_I'm a weirdo._

_**Why Mr. Sebastian Smythe, do you have a bowtie kink? And how many times have you imagined me naked except for a bowtie** _

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_**In 2 weeks, I’m going to kiss you for real and it will be spectacular** _

_I don't belong here._

_**Bas, I promise it was real. It was always real** _

_Oh_

_**Like you don’t have a musical guilty pleasure.** _

_Oh_

_**Ok, let me think. I guess Creep by Radiohead** _

Thu…ump

Wait…what?

Thu…ump

_He's running out,_

The pronoun. Did I change the pronoun in the car?

_He’s run-un-un_

**Sebastian threw up his hands in surrender… _He's running out_**

_He's running out_

I changed it.

_He’s run_

Oh my god, I fucking changed it.

_Run_

Past Christian

_Run_

Past a waiter

_Run_

Up some stairs to a loft, or indoor balcony, open to the dining room below

_Run_

Past a guy yelling in Italian

_Oh_

In the back, non-visible to the diners

_Oh_

A guy is playing the piano

_Whatever makes you happy_

Dark, curly hair

_Whatever you want_

Full, but neatly trimmed beard

_You're so very special_

Glasses attempting to disguise eyes Sebastian would know anywhere

_I wish I was special_

Eyes shining with excitement

_But I'm a creep,_

To eyes questioning reality

_I'm a weirdo_

To eyes widening in fear

_What the hell am I doing here?_

To eyes begging for understanding

_I don't belong here._

_I don't belong here_.

Sebastian forced himself to say the word but wasn’t sure if the guy at the piano could hear it over the sound of his heartbeat “Blaine.”

Thu…ump  
Thu…ump  
Thu…ump

“Bas, my name is Babe.”

TBC in Jan 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papardelle al Cinghiale is a wide, flat pasta made with a wild boar ragu. It was included on several lists of Foods to Try in Florence, Italy
> 
> You will find out next chapter, Cooper will play King George III in Hamilton. Fun fact, the role was actually originally portrayed by Jonathon Groff (Jesse St. James) for which he earned a Tony nomination.
> 
> Creep: Campbell, JR; Hubbard, George; Smith, Bill 1992. I based Blaine’s performance on the Brian Justin Crum performance on America’s Got Talent (July 2016). If you haven’t seen it and are a fan of a song, go to YouTube. I know Rachel & Brody sang the song on the show and I actually liked the back half of it. However, if the writers were going to f*** Blaine up by making him “whiny & depressed” anyway, this would have been better. Rant over.


	8. Love Is The Truth That Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian gets some unexpected help to deal with the fact Blaine is still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine any conversation Sebastian has (except with Blaine) to be in Italian. I can see him speaking fluently while the others would not be able to do the same in English.
> 
> Song lyrics were changed to fit the story.
> 
> Happy 2019

Sebastian watched Blaine gather papers strewn across the room, still in disbelief from the events of the past 10 minutes. Once he admitted who he was, Blaine grabbed his hand and lead him back down the stairs and across the street to this tiny apartment. “It was my bisnonna’s place” he explained “But she’s 92 and more than a little senile so they moved her to the main house and I moved here for some privacy at least that’s what my uncle said but I don’t sleep well and play my guitar at night… oh god, I’m rambling. Do you want something to drink, Bas?”

“Sebastian”

The correction was abrupt and brought Blaine’s fidgeting to an end. A staring contest took over only to be interrupted when Sebastian received a text.

_From Christian: WTF? Was that…?_   
_From Sebastian: Don’t say anything to ANYONE. I mean it._   
_From Christian: Holy Shit!_   
_From Christian: Are you ok?_   
_From Christian: Stupid question_   
_From Sebastian: Not ok but haven’t really talked_   
_From Christian: Then get to it_

“Is everything alright?”

“You did not just ask me that?” For half a second Sebastian thought of calling Artie or Sam or Coo…damn. “Cooper’s a better actor than I gave him credit for.”

“He doesn’t know.”

Sebastian felt his legs give out but fortunately there was a chair behind him. How could Cooper not know? Wait… “This was your great-grandmother’s apartment? You’re living with family and Cooper doesn’t know? Do your parents?”

“My parents brought me here. Bas…Sebastian, you can’t tell Coop or anyone else.” Blaine’s voice cracked when he added “Not even your boyfriend.”

“My…oh, not a boyfriend. The guy I was with is my cousin, Christian.”

Blaine’s face flooded with relief then, just as quickly, sheer panic. “Did he recognize me?”

Though they had never met, of course, Christian would recognize Blaine. Sebastian had 3 framed pictures which set on his bedtable in every hotel they stayed in. First was him and Wes with Blaine and the rest of the New New Directions after they won Regionals. Then, him and Santana singing _Smooth Criminal_ at the non-wedding reception with Blaine playing cello. The third was his favorite. It was him and Blaine at the reception, sitting with their foreheads pressed together, lost in conversation…both with big, dopey grins. Marley, who had taken the picture, titled it _Obliviously Smitten_.

But this Blaine in no way resembled the one Christian saw in the photos.

It wasn’t the long, wild curls or the glasses or even the beard. Ok, maybe the beard if you noticed it covered gaunt cheeks and a pale complexion. He had lost weight, a lot judging by the way his clothes hung, and he looked tired…no, exhausted.

And he was still the most beautiful thing Sebastian had ever seen.

“Yes, but Chris won’t say anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Blaine let out an audible breath and seemed to relax…a little. “I realize you have no reason to but I need you to trust me. I’m so close…”

It was the absolute wrong thing for him to say

“How? How am I supposed to trust you, Blaine? I was there when the doctor came into the waiting room and said they did everything they could. I went with Artie and your parents to Kitty’s hospital room to tell her and Sam…Holy shit, your parents lied right to our faces.”

“I’m sorry, so sorry but I’m so close…”

“Then tell me what the fuck is going on. You keep saying you’re so close. Close to what?”

“I can’t.” Sebastian stood and headed toward the door. “24 hours” Blaine blurted out. His voice wavered but he didn’t backtrack. “Give me 24 hours and I’ll…I’ll tell you everything. Please.”

The plea gave him pause, causing Sebastian to tightened his hold on the doorknob. It was the only thing keeping him from turning around, scooping Blaine into his arms and agreeing to give him all the time in the world.

“I’ll be back in 24 hours. Don’t make me regret it.”

When Sebastian got outside, he sent Christian a text stating he was going to take a walk to clear his head. Two hours of aimless wandering later he had to admit he was completely lost.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

Sebastian turned to see an elderly woman sitting on a bench. She resembled every cliché an American tourist would think of when describing a rural, Tuscan grandmother (despite being in a city of 400,000). “Excuse me, I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else.”

“No, Sebastian, I know exactly who you are. Come sit beside me.”

His choices were get the hell out of there or join her. Curiosity won out. “You know my name?” he asked as he sat down.

“Yes, and you may call me Gigi.” There was no explanation, instead she scooted closer and linked their arms. “It’s almost time.”

“For what?”

“To listen.”

Gigi motioned to an open window on the top floor of the building across from them. Sebastian finally recognized where he was. The open window was Blaine’s.

He could clearly hear an acoustic guitar and Blaine’s voice but the words were muffled. Gigi tightened their arm link then reached across to place her free hand on his chest. “You won’t hear his words if you listen with your ears. You must listen with your heart.” Things were getting beyond a little weird, but her hand was calming and all outside noises faded away except one.

_I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough_   
_I'm sending you all my love, I'm still looking up_

_And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating_   
_I'll be here patiently waiting, to see what you find_

_'Cause even the stars they burn_   
_Some even fall to the earth_   
_We've got a lot to learn_   
_God knows we're worth it_

_No, I won't give up_

Blaine won’t give up? Blaine will wait for _him_? He had waited literally years for Blaine…through Hummel and Slushie-gate and months of being the bad guy and No Thanks and steroids and (understandable) insecurities and fake dating and fake DEATH. Why couldn’t Blaine just tell him the truth?

“My darling boy, he is telling you the truth. He’s sending you his love and love is the only truth that matters.”

Whatever was going on between him and Gigi had just entered the realm of bat-shit crazy because he was certain he hadn’t asked his questions aloud. Sebastian carefully separated their arms and stood to leave. “It was a pleasure but I have to go.”

He got 10 feet

“You recognized the song, didn’t you? The reason you did was because every night since he wrote it, he would take his guitar to an open window and sing. He was sending it out into the universe, praying it would find its way to your heart.”

That was enough to get Sebastian to turn around. “You don’t know that.”

“I do. Your Blaine told me.”

That was enough to get him to sit back down. “Blaine told you?”

“Darling boy, he told me everything about everyone…Sam, Kitty, the rest of the New New Directions, Wes, Santana but mostly he spoke of you. He missed you terribly.”

The emotional upheaval of the past few hours finally caught up with him. Gigi somehow got him to put his head in her lap and she stroked his hair as he cried. “Then why? Why didn’t Blaine let me know he was here?”

“When you found him, he did. As long as he has been playing piano at the restaurant, he only sang on a few occasions and only in Italian. But tonight, the night you were here, he sang in English.”

Sebastian let himself get lost in the memory of the two of them in Blaine’s car. He had blocked it since he sang _Against All Odds_ at the celebration of life. “It’s my guilty pleasure song.”

“I know it is. He sings that and _Uptown Girl_ , _Dark Side_ and _Shape of You_ to me all the time. Although my personal favorite is _Glad You_ _Came_.”

“Those were songs I sang.” Sebastian sat up and marveled at how his 6-foot 2-inch frame had fit across the small bench. He decided it was due to some sort of mystical powers Gigi possessed. Seriously, mystical powers. After the day he had had, why not. “But none of this explains anything.”

“Soon, darling boy. He’s so close. Now, we don’t have much time before my family realizes I am gone. This is what you say.”  
Gigi was right about not having much time. She has barely finished when 3 men came running toward them, the oldest calling her Mama. Sebastian recognized him from the restaurant and it was clear the man recognized him as well.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t blame me because you can’t keep track of your mother. I was back to look for my phone when she attached herself to my arm, calling me her Yankee-Doodle lover boy. Evidently, she thinks it’s 1944 and either the Fascists or Nazi’s had gotten me. I’m assuming you’re our son, Antonio.” Sebastian smiled across at Gigi expecting her to add a snarky quip, but something was different. “Gigi?”

“Don’t call her that” Antonio said as he gently helped her up. “Come along, Mama. Let’s get you to bed.” The 2 younger men walked over and each took an arm. Once they were a safe distance away, Antonio thanked him for caring for her but “Leave, Sebastian, and don’t come back. It’s for the best…for everyone.”

Not this shit again. “How do you…?” Antonio left, ignoring Sebastian’s question but it didn’t matter. He was sick of the non-answers which were either partial truths or outright lies. None of this MADE ANY FUCKING SENSE and he wasn’t going to wait 24…technically, 21 hours for answers.

He didn’t remember running across the courtyard or up the stairs to Blaine’s apartment. He barely remembered banging on the door.

Seeing Blaine again wiped all that away.

“Sebastian? What…?”

“Not this time.” Sebastian pushed Blaine back then shut and locked the door behind him incase any of Blaine’s relatives decided to check on him.

“I just had the most surreal conversation of my life, and considering you’re supposedly dead, that says a lot. A woman I’m pretty fucking sure was a witch or at least some sort of physic or mystic priestess, told me to listen with my heart and I did. She told me to trust you and I want to but, damn it, I need something real. One thing, Blaine. One thing to prove to me that any of this is real.”

Blaine walked out of the room to another and shut the door behind him.

Standing alone, time stood still for Sebastian. He was at a crossroads. If he walked out the door, he wouldn’t come back. Not in 24 hours. Not ever.

_Darling boy, listen with your heart. He already told you everything you need to know._

“Damn it, Gigi! Get out of my fucking…oh.” He finally understood what she had been trying to tell him all along. “Thank you, you crazy old witch.”

This time he didn’t bother to knock and found Blaine sitting on the end of a bed, crying. “Please, just go. I can’t give you what you want.”

Sebastian responded by holding up his phone… _Bas, I promise it was real. It was always real._

Blaine lifted his head, stunned to hear his own voice. “I…I don’t understand.”

“Artie told me what you went through to leave me this message but I never got the chance to respond.”

“What would you have said?”

“I love you too, Babe.”

Their lips met in mid-air before they fell together onto the bed. It was not the first kiss they had dreamed of as boys in Ohio. This was the kiss of men, separated by time and tragedy. However, Blaine had been right about one thing all those months ago.

It was spectacular

But the timing was wrong. “We can’t do this” Sebastian groaned, pulling himself away. He turned onto his side, facing Blaine…close enough to talk but far enough to prevent any inadvertent touching. Even though he knew what he did was for the best, the disappointment on Blaine’s face was painful to see.

“I know I don’t look the same. I…I, my recovery has not…”

“Listen to me.” Sebastian took his hand and placed it over Blaine’s heart, because according to Gigi that was how the two of them communicated. “No, you aren’t the boy with the gelled hair, grey striped sweater, tight highwater pants and bowtie. You are a man, who I am guessing has not only been through hell physically but has been trying to hide in plain sight. My putting the breaks on what was definitely about to happen is because it’s not fair to either of us to fall into what we could have been until we talk…a lot. While I can admit I never stopped loving you, that doesn’t mean my need for answers has changed.”

Blaine returned Sebastian’s gesture by placing his hand on his heart. “And I want to give you those answers, more than anything, but…”

“You need time.”

“Just 24, or I guess 21 hours. I’m so…”

“Close. So, I’ve heard” Sebastian sighed. This conversation was entering the familiar loop of questions and non-answers. It was time for him to go. “I’m leaving and I will give you your full 24 hours but Blaine, Babe, please don’t disappear on me again. I can’t…I won’t…”

Blaine leaned over and gave him a sweet, small kiss, just like the ones they used to share. “I promise. I love you, Bas.”

Sebastian wanted to believe him but didn’t know how to trust him. This big, beautiful, death defying, heart-to-heart speaking love they shared was based on a lie. Fake dating to keep Blaine’s ex from bothering him. What if there wasn’t enough of a foundation to support whatever answers Blaine finally gave him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, your answers will take longer than 24 hours.
> 
> I Won’t Give Up: Mraz, Jason; Natter, Michael Lee 2012
> 
> Gigi will make another appearance.
> 
> For future reference, in Chapter 6, Blaine’s father was referred to as “that Michael Anderson” implying he’s rich, powerful or most likely both. The fact he is will be important but how he got to be is not so I didn’t develop a reason.


	9. Truth & Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian goes to get the truth. Is he still willing to accept the consequences if he doesn’t like what he hears?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gigi is back and her identity is revealed. Have an open mind. Speaking of open mind…
> 
> Everything from Blaine’s explanation with few exception (Sebastian’s involvement and, you know, Blaine being shot) comes directly from canon, only arranged to fit this narrative.
> 
> As stated in the end notes of last chapter, Chapter 6 refers to Blaine’s father was as that Michael Anderson, implying he’s rich and extremely powerful. This important to the story. How he got to be (legally or illegally) is not. I’ll leave that choice to your imagination.
> 
> Reminder: Any conversations with members of Blaine’s (Italian) family would be in Italian. 
> 
> Warning: Mentions of gun violence, threats of harm and a near-death experience

Christian was pacing in the hotel suite across the hall from the one he shared with Sebastian. The knock he was waiting for stopped him in his tracks. He knew in his heart he had done the right thing. That didn’t mean he wasn’t scared shitless.

“Ciao, Bella. It’s so nice of you to come.”

Santana rolled her eyes but did kiss his cheek as she entered the suite. “Like I had a choice. _Santana dear, I’m calling with a Code Black. A car will be picking you up_ _in an hour_ ” she delivered in a tone mocking his French accent. “What was so fucking important?”

“I cannot tell you.”

Her expression change explained everything he had ever wondered about the oft-mentioned Lima Heights. “Excuse me? I just flew 9 fucking hours, Frenchy. You said Code Black. According to Trouty’s emergency system that meant I had to come no questions asked, and I did. I expect answers.”

“I cannot tell you. It must be Bastian. However…” Christian walked into the bedroom and waved his arm like a model on a game show. There were racks of designer clothing and bags on the bed with labels such as Gucci, Versace and Louboutin. “I hope you find these acceptable.”

“Holy Shit!” Santana went to one rack and began pulling dresses. “When you said not to bother packing, I wasn’t expecting Italian Fashion Week to be waiting for me.”

“Here is your room key card and the shopper’s number. Call her if she forgot something.” Christian handed her a small envelope then took her hand. “Thank you for coming. I’ll be back as I assume you want a shower. Do you need a nap?”

“I’m good but you’re right about the shower.” Christian turned to leave but Santana held firm to his hand. “Why did you call me? Artie’s Seb’s best friend.”

Christian shrugged although he remembered the exact moment he knew. “I heard a voice. She said it had to be you.”

An hour later the two of them walked across the hallway. When they were in, Christian pointed to Sebastian sitting out on the balcony. “I’m headed back to Paris but I found you some company.”

“What do you mean…” Sebastian got up, then froze when he saw who his cousin was referring to. “What the fuck is she doing here? I told you not to fucking tell anyone” he yelled in French to keep Santana out of the conversation.

“I didn’t. I called her with one of Samuel’s Code Blacks so no questions asked.”

“Those are only in cases of fucking life and death.”

“Think about what you just said but as death and life.”

“That’s enough!” Santana went to Sebastian and gave him a hug, which he did return. “One of you tell me what’s going on. I’ve learned enough French to know Stretch was dropping f-bombs.” When Sebastian left and slammed the bedroom door behind him, Santana looked to Christian but didn’t like what she saw. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

“Sorry, nothing’s changed. I’ll be back in four days then we can all go back to the Big Apple together.”

That was new information. “You’re coming to NYC? Since when?”

“Yesterday”

It had been an easy decision. No matter the result of Sebastian’s meeting with Blaine, he was going to need him. The rest of the Fam would be dealing with their own emotions. First, he had to go to Paris and settle a few issues, like telling his mother he would not be attending the Sorbonne in the fall. But on a lighter note…“Be ready to assist me in wooing the love of my life, the fabulous Miss Rachel Berry.”

“Oh god, I can’t wait until you actually meet her and Kurt meets you. He’s going to haaaaaaate you.”

“I’m sure the feeling will be mutual.”

A few more Rachel quips were shared before Christian left and Santana sat on the couch to wait Sebastian out. She was more tired than she thought because the next thing she knew he was waking her. “I’m leaving.”

“I’m coming with you.” She stood and stretched, happy with the fact he woke her. It would have been easy to leave without saying anything. “Are you finally going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I will…after. You can’t come with me.”

“Seb…”

“Tana, I’m sorry Chris brought you here but I can’t tell you, not yet.” Sebastian embraced her and wished he could find a way to make her understand. The problem was he didn’t understand any of this himself. “Do me a favor. There’s a guy named Franco at the concierge who can get his hands on anything. We’re going to need alcohol for when I get back…lots and lots of alcohol.”

Once he left, it didn’t take long to get to Blaine’s. Sebastian was surprised to see the courtyard in front so empty until he remembered the restaurant was closed while the family went boar hunting. Was that the reason Blaine wanted to wait 24 hours before telling him what happened?

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

How had he not seen her sitting on the bench? “Gigi”

The elderly woman patted the space beside her “Come sit with me, darling boy.”

He thought of protesting but asked himself _What’s the point?_ When he was seated, he linked their arms like she had done the day before. For as much as she freaked him out, Sebastian was already very fond of his new friend. “Does your family know you’re gone?”

“They will, but that’s not important. Love is important.”

Sebastian lifted his eyes to Blaine’s open window and asked “What if love isn’t enough?”

“Just listen to him but listen…”

“…with my heart” he finished for her. He took a deep breath and for the first time felt ready to hear what Blaine had to say.

“Go to him. And give Santana a kiss for me.”

As much as he wanted to ask _WTF?_ he decided to add the comment to the growing list of inexplicable events of the past 24 hours. He had to be in the right mindset when he laid eyes on Blaine again.

However, no amount of preparation stopped his heart from nearly beating out of his chest when the door opened.

“Thank you for coming, Ba…Sebastian.” Blaine motioned toward a small couch by the infamous window. “Are you hungry? I have some of my family’s Papardelle al Cinghiale. I didn’t know if you got any yesterday…”

“B, you’re rambling and maybe later on the Papardelle al Cinghiale.”

“B?”

“I felt it’s an acceptable compromise. You can call me Seb or Bastian like my cousin does, if you want to. I know last night…” He wasn’t going to say the night before was a mistake, but winding up in bed (even without sex) probably wasn’t the best idea. And letting Blaine call him Bas…well, that couldn’t happen again. At least not until he had answers.

“No, I get it, Seb” Blaine said, attempting (but failing) to hide the disappointment in his voice with a forced smile.

Sebastian looked closer as Blaine sat on the opposite end of the couch. His appearance had changed from the night before. The glasses were gone, the beard had been neatly trimmed and his clothes were similar to his old style, though they hung from his body. He had put in some effort which Sebastian saw as positive. “You look good.”

“You’re even more gorgeous than I remembered.” It took a moment for Blaine to realize what he said. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I, I’m…I’m just really, really nervous.”

From the way he was shaking, Sebastian knew that was a massive understatement. He also knew that had to change or Blaine wouldn’t open up. “Did you know I performed with the New Directions at last year’s Nationals?”

Blaine let out an audible sigh and relaxed, at least a little. “When I saw the video, I thought the pain meds were making me hallucinate.”

Thoughts which had never crossed his mind began flooding Sebastian _You had access to the internet? Facebook, Twitter, email?_ but he didn’t want to scare Blaine into silence “Since I didn’t take the steroids the Show Choir Association gave me an exemption.”

“And you took lead on the Warbler song.”

“Jeff said _Raise Your Glass_ was your favorite and the routine was ridiculously easy to learn.”

“Hey, the Warbler 2-step is a classic and you wouldn’t have thought that if you would have had to teach Puck or Finn.”

Blaine was laughing so hard, Sebastian caught a brief glimpse of _his Blaine_. He almost hated doing this. “Yesterday you kept saying I’m so close. Close to what?”

Blaine stopped laughing but didn’t shrink back into himself. The diversion had worked. “Going home…to the States, to New York, to Cooper, to my friends, to…”

Three letters, Y-O-U. Three letters Blaine couldn’t say because he was afraid of the response, but Sebastian understood. “I think you better start at the beginning.”

“Ok” Blaine moved back and pulled his knees into his chest, an obvious defensive measure. “Becky didn’t shoot me, Sue did.”

For the first time Sebastian believed someone’s eyes could pop out of their sockets because he was sure his had. Seriously, what the fuck? Becky accidently shooting Blaine as Sue tried to take the gun from her was the one truth Sebastian thought he knew. “Was it an accident?”

“No”

Sebastian sprung up and ran down a small hall, thankful he found the bathroom before he began to vomit. When he finally collected himself, he went back to the living area to find Blaine offering him a bottle of water. “Are you ok?”

“Not even close” he answered truthfully, taking the bottle and sitting down. “Do your parents know? Do the police know? Does Becky know? I mean she’s got to know but seriously B, what the fuck?”

“My parents and the police know, so does Figgins, the School Superintendent and to some point, Burt Hummel.” Blaine waited for a reaction but Sebastian motioned for him to continue. “Becky’s parents also know. Despite the extenuating circumstances, Becky brought a gun to school. There was no choice but to expel her. Artie had taken her to visit a program at Ohio State and my dad pulled a few strings to get her accepted early. She felt comfortable there. And as for her knowing, she wasn’t in the room. Did Kitty ever remember anything?”

Blaine seemed to be well informed about what happened during the time he was gone, but he didn’t know about Kitty? “Nothing between you pushing her and waking up in the hospital. You pushed her pretty fucking hard.”

“I had this horrible, sinking feeling watching Sue get the gun away from Becky. I just wanted her out of the way. When she fell and hit her head, Sue sent Becky to go get help. The next thing I remember is indescribable pain, Mr. Schue yelling about an ambulance and having Artie call you.”

“To tell me what you felt for me was real.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

Sebastian didn’t know if Blaine’s admission made what he was feeling better or worse, especially since he still didn’t have the answers to the biggest questions. “But why?”

“Why did it take me so long to admit I had feelings for you all along? Even when I was still with Kurt?”

Sebastian Alexander Smythe, who had a quick retort for everything, was officially speechless.

Blaine looked disappointed there wasn’t a response, yet understood and reluctantly moved on. “I talked with my parents last night, it’s one of the reasons I asked for 24 hours. I told them I planned to tell you everything. But Seb, if I tell you, you can’t tell anyone, at least not yet.”

Sebastian thought of Santana back at the hotel but decided one bridge at a time. “I’m listening.”

_With your heart, darling boy._

Was it odd hearing Gigi in his head no longer freaked him out?

Again, Blaine took a deep breath but it wasn’t for calm. It was for strength. “Remember when I told you why I rejoined the Cheerios?”

“Yes, because you and Sam thought Sue was up to something shady.”

“Right. And remember how I returned?”

“You purposefully lost a Feud sing-off.”

“Two for two. What I didn’t know was she had back-up plans. One was an attempt to ruin my parents’ credit.”

“And she clearly had no idea your dad was _that_ Michael Anderson.” Sebastian always wondered how Blaine kept his dad’s identity secret at McKinley. Then again, he had been able to hide Cooper for a long time from super-fanboy Kurt. Wait a minute…“She shot you because she was afraid of your dad? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Like I said, no one knows. My dad got an alert from his accountant about suspicious activity, which he had traced back to Sue, while I was in surgery. Dad told the authorities but also had his own guys look into it. By the end of the day they had found everything Sam and I expected. She had embezzled funds from the district, was blackmailing Figgins and others with fabricated evidence…you get the drift. But none of that came close to the level of bat-shit crazy Becky showed them.”

“Becky?”

“Her parents and the authorities told her Sue hurt me but not that I was shot. She didn’t deserve to live with the guilt of bringing the gun. Well, Becky always had a soft spot for Gay Blaine. She declared Sue was no longer her friend and told them about a storage unit. Sebastian, it wasn’t a storage unit. It was a hurt locker.”

“I don’t understand.”

“There were hundreds of pictures of Mr. Schue and members of the New Directions, past and present, with detailed plans on how to quote/unquote ruin each of them. My dad said it was totally bizarre especially…”

Sebastian became unnerved when he felt a chill blast through him. “Especially?”

“A hidden room devoted to her undying love for Klaine. There were close to 1,000 photos including ones of Kurt and I at Dalton and a video playing of Kurt and I wearing tuxedos, dancing in a dreamlike _Moulin Rouge_ set while singing _Come What May_ , which obviously never happened. She also had mannequins, with cut-outs of mine and Kurt’s faces, dressed for our wedding. This was when Burt Hummel was brought in. But Seb, that wasn’t the most disturbing thing.”

Blaine turned to the side table and picked up a file. When Sebastian opened it there was a picture of the two of them with Jake’s mom at the diner. His face was crossed out in red marker. “She knew about the diner?”

“My parents and the authorities didn’t know what to do about this level of crazy. They feared not only for me but you and anyone else she might have perceived as keeping me and Kurt apart.”

Sebastian sat down the file before he vomited again. “Then why did she shoot _YOU_?”

“That’s the part I can’t tell you. Did she find out Sam and I were investigating her? Was she afraid of what she did before she found out my dad was _that_ Michael Anderson? Did she think if Kurt couldn’t have me no one could? No one knows. That’s when my parents shipped me here to recover and told everyone I died. The authorities thought it would give her a false sense of security and draw her back since everyone assumed Becky shot me.”

He’d comment on how stupid that was later. “But when it didn’t happen, why didn’t they say something?”

“I got an infection doctors didn’t think I’d recover from. My parents thought it would be cruel to tell everyone I didn’t die only for me to actually die. I obviously didn’t but for eight months it was really bad.” Blaine’s tone was almost pitiful as he stood and waved his arm down his body. “As you can see, my recovery hasn’t been much better.”

Though he didn’t have all his answers, the walls Sebastian built to protect his heart came crashing down. “You are still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Sobs wracked Blaine’s small frame so Sebastian scooped him onto his lap and held him close as they cried together. It was almost an hour before Blaine confessed “I would make up stories about you finding me and tell them to my Bisnonna. I told you she has dementia, right?”

“Yeah, you said this had been her place.”

“In the early days of my recovery I couldn’t do much. Telling her stories helped calm her, which my family appreciated, and gave me a reason to get out of bed. I told her hundreds of them but it wasn’t just you. I included Santana, Wes, Sam and all the New New Directions…”

“The Fam.”

“What fam?”

“When the New New Directions adopted me, like you knew they would, they also took in Santana, Wes, Cooper and later my cousin, Christian. The name changed to the Fam.”

“I’m glad Cooper was included.”

“He’s not going to forgive your parents.”

“Good, because I haven’t forgiven them for taking me away from everyone I…” Blaine sat up, stared into Sebastian’s eyes and gave into his feelings. “Everyone I love. Especially you, Sebastian. I know you said last night you did too but…”

“B…”

“Seb, I need you to hear this. Since I’ve been well enough to make my own decisions, I’ve chosen to remain in hiding. My dad had investigators all over the world trying to find Sue but she was a ghost. Her parents might have not been the Nazi hunters she claimed but they were experts at both world travel and staying off the grid. With the stuff in that locker, and no explanation for why she shot me…I was afraid, if she knew I was alive, she’d go after one of you in an attempt to find me.”

The outpouring of truth overwhelmed Sebastian. “I’m supposed to go back to NYC in less than a week. I can’t keep this from the others.”

“You won’t have to. When I kept saying _I’m so close_ it was because they had found Sue. Yesterday, when I called my parents to tell them you were here, they told me she was in custody. Some cosmic force saw fit to have you find me at the exact moment I was freed from my nightmare. My parents will be here tomorrow to try to figure out a way to bring me back from the dead.”

Sebastian kissed him with an intensity that made the kiss they shared the night before seem like the sweet pecks they shared at Will Schuester’s non-wedding reception. When they parted, he put their foreheads together. “I know it will be hard but I’ll be with you through all of it. I can’t promise I won’t go off on your parents.”

“I would expect nothing less from Sebastian Smythe.”

“Babe, my name is Bas.”

The variation on _Bas, my name is Babe_ brought back Blaine’s tears, but this time happy ones. It was probably the one thing Sebastian could have said to make Blaine believe him. “I love you, Bas.”

“I love you, Babe. By the way, that cosmic force of yours has a name, Gigi.” An expression of utter confusion was not what Sebastian expected. “What’s wrong?”

“How do you know Gigi?”

“She’s the woman I told you about yesterday.”

“That’s not possible. Gigi is what I call my Bisnonna, g…g for great grandmother. I’m the only one who does this because I’m the only one who speaks English. Bas, she not only has dementia, she doesn’t talk unless she’s talking about…”

“The American soldier she met during World War II who may or may not be your uncle’s father?”

Before Blaine could form the words, there was a frantic knock on his door. He opened it to a woman who must have been one of his aunts. “I’m sorry, Blaine. She wouldn’t calm down until I said I’d bring her here.”

“No, this is perfect timing.” Blaine opened the door wider and offered his arm to a frail, older woman Sebastian recognized immediately.

And she recognized him

Blaine and his aunt were completely flabbergasted watching Gigi shuffle to Sebastian, linking their arms as they sat together on the couch. While the two of them smiled at each other, Blaine’s aunt remembered the bag she was carrying. “She…she, um, wanted you to have this.”

“Chocolates?” Blaine stared into the cloth bag full of dozens of individually wrapped candies. “I don’t understand.

Sebastian did. “He told you the story of Santana and the chocolates, didn’t he?”

Gigi reached across and patted his cheek but her only response was “Darling Boy.”

**2 Hours Later**

“Tana, I’m back.”

The sound of Sebastian’s voice woke her. She had fallen asleep, again, but who could blame her? The bed in this 5-star hotel was the most comfortable thing she had ever laid on.

When she entered the living area of the suite, it was dark. Why hadn’t he turned on the light?

“Hi.” It wasn’t Sebastian standing before her. “Are you happy today?”

Santana braced herself on an end table. She hadn’t heard the question in almost 2 years. “I don’t know how to answer. If I say no, it will be a lie because if you are you…if you are Blaine, I don’t know if I’ve ever been so happy in my life. But if I say yes, you’d have say I don’t need you anymore and that would be the lie.”

Blaine reached into the bag Gigi brought him and pulled out a candy. “There are 100 pieces of chocolate in here. How about if you say yes but I just give you one piece for the next 100 days?”

“What if 100 isn’t enough?”

“I’ll give you as much as you want. If you’ll let me.”

Sebastian, who had been standing in the shadows, moved next to Blaine. “He’s real Tana. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before.”

“Just shut up.” Santana ran into Blaine’s arms, almost knocking him over. “You look like hell.”

“I missed you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite Becky’s Down Syndrome, bringing a gun to school would have gotten her expelled and not a 30-day suspension. Glee took a lot of liberties with school policies (don’t get me started on how they didn’t win Nationals) but this is a zero tolerance mandate throughout the US.
> 
> For those of you who choose to ignore Season 6, Becky showed the Superintendent the “Hurt Locker” when Sue was mean to Gay Blaine and wouldn’t let the Warblers join the ND after the fire at Dalton. Sorry, for the bad memories.


End file.
